Your+Average+Teen

2-8-12 April 15, 2011 7:30 p.m. I never imagined that one day I’d fall in love. I don’t know how to tell my //best friend// that even though //he// likes //her//rather than me, that I still haven’t gotten over him. Who wouldn’t like that one person you like to be your best friend or be the one that likes you back? Speaking of love, what is it? Is it an affection that you feel for someone you care for deeply? Love. What is it? Is it all those hearts and flowers with chocolates? Is it what I see on television? What is love? Will it come to me? Will I be able to define it when I fall in love? Actually, when I have a love because I’m already falling head over heels for that one guy. He’s my very first crush. I can’t explain the feeling but I feel fluttery... It’s such a great thing that I’m a good actress. The reason: I can still like him while hanging out with him without being those dumbstruck, obsessed creeps when I talk to him. I act coolly around him so he wouldn’t know that I like him. I would just either endanger our friendship(sounds corny), make it awkward between us(which I don’t want), or put //him// in an awkward position. I don’t want him to choose between me and my best friend. Then, there’ll be this whole controversy and fights and what not... I wish that this is one of those late realizations and that I just might end up with him...

April 15, 2011 9:13 p.m. I began to question things that I thought I’d encounter when I got older. I started to question what I wanted to be and who I am. Who am I? Just a voice... a voice that needs to be heard. I want to make a difference in this world but I don’t know how to approach it. I don’t want to go in a political or religious route. I want to go on a path that uses my talents which strengthens my perspective. I want to leave my mark on this world no matter what it was. Whether it was artistically or through my words, I wanted to make a difference. I know I’m only thirteen, but I have ambitions that I want achieved. Who says there’s an age limit to extreme goals?

April 16, 2011 11:38 p.m. For some odd reason, my parents think I’m troubled or sad. Nothing is wrong and nothing is going on. It’s just that I’m tired and exhausted from school... I don’t recall being depressed or being an odd child. I don’t think I’m depressed...

April 17, 2011 6:36 p.m. I’ve had some pretty strange dreams in my life, but this takes the cake. I was in this futuristic type of school with some of my classmates, such as the guy I like. We were standing in line for something that I couldn’t see until it was my turn. A stereotypical looking nurse was right in front of me with a needle. She stated, “Let’s see how many shots your hand can withstand before it bleeds or up to one hundred.” The nurse kept counting and stabbing away until eighty-six because at that point the shots actually hurt. I was mortified to see all the little dents in my skin so I grabbed a long piece of gauze to wrap around my hand. I don’t know how it occurred but the nurse was happy to declare that I held the record so far. I also don’t know who in the right mind would want to hold this kind of contest. I found my friends afterward in the gym. It looked like your typical gym with the ropes, rock walls, people injured and what not. Three of my friends were there and were attempting flips. I tried to do a back handspring, with the injured hand, and by some odd miracle, I actually did it. My friends were amazed because I was never gymnastically inclined even if I could do a backbend. Anyways, the whole dream was a crazy ride. When I woke up, I stared at my hands for a good ten minutes and rubbed them to know that they weren’t scarred with the needle. I was relieved, but I fell back asleep. September 9, 2011 9:19 p.m. Haven’t had a full week of school yet but it’s stressful already.

April 22, 2011 10:51 p.m. You can call me insane. You can call me crazy, but never call me normal. Has anyone in this world been //perfect// or //normal//? The definition for normal would be grass or a tree. Perfect would be a utopia that probably will crash and burn after some amount of years. Potential hazard may be a definition for human beings. Have you seen the damages done to habitats, ecosystems, etc.? I’ve seen the oil spill affecting the ocean and it’s just a horrible thought. This is why I have an ambition of creating cow manure based fuel for cars. It’s a high goal, but cow manure is locally found, it’s abundant, and there won’t be a point of going out into the ocean for oil anymore. Besides, I’ll be saving the earth and the economy! No more highly priced gas in every station across the country. I want to prevent pollution in the air even if it means sacrificing a nice smelling air. Who said gas smelled any better? Anyways, I hope to achieve this goal before the end of the world or my life... January 24, 2012 6:47 p.m. It’s been a //long// time since I’ve written here. There has been a lot of scandal going on with relationships in my grade. I never knew dating was such a big deal. I don’t know though, because I’m not in a relationship...

April 30, 2011 1:41 p.m. I am aware that questioning a belief is doubt, but why do people still deny that they may have that little chink of doubt? I know I’ve doubted myself before and I’ve admitted that I have, but it doesn’t come across simple. Doubt creeps into your mind like a stealthy ninja finding it’s way through a series of obstacles and complications. It seems that it’s simple for the doubt to overcome the senses, but it’s difficult for hope to counterattack this...this disbelief. It’s an absurd thought, but it just... it just...boggles my mind...

January 25, 2012 6:24 p.m. New year. New differences. I’ve developed just a friendship with my old crush, but somehow, I still like him. I don’t know really. He and I haven’t had a real conversation in quite awhile. For a //long// while. I’m tired than ever. Everyday. It’s accumulating. I NEED SLEEP.