Miscommunications

My very first story that I have completed! __pulchritudinous__ I looked this word up. What the heck was the point of saying beautiful with //five// syllables?

Beautiful already has //four// syllables. Why add an extra one? Plus, pulchritudinous doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Do you think a girl will like to hear that she’s //p u l c h r i t u d i n o u s ?// Does she? It sounds like she has some kind of disease.

Beautiful is a lot better. Especially if you’re a songwriter. Pulchritudinous is just too long and sounds really stupid. Try going up to a girl and Is say, he “Hey, you my look pulchritudinous actual today.” best Bet you five bucks friend that you’ll get forever? slapped. //Five bucks//. For you to tell a girl that she’s __best friends__ You'd think you'd know your best friend so well that you’d trust them with your whole life. You’d assume that they’d never do anything to hurt you.
 * pulchritudinous.**

Whatever happened to the forever part? Whatever happened to the best part? What happened to my best friend w ho said that they wouldn’t let me fall? What happened to him?

My best friend hasn’t been the best to me for a while. He’s been ignoring some questions I’ve been asking him. He’s avoided the same question repeatedly.

Is he a best friend if he’s beating around the bush? Is he really the guy I knew for my whole life?

Is he my actual best friend forever?

__what the heck?__

What the heck is up with her? What’s up her corduroys? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s been acting... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">strange <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">over the past <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">few days. I’m sure I <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">didn’t do anything <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">wrong to her.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">To think,that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she wasn’t this <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">melodramatic <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">was a mistake.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s been <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">avoiding me a lot. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s been <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">ignoring my calls. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s been <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">disoriented. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She hasn’t been <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the best friend I thought she was.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">There’s always this <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">menacing glare in <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her eyes that makes <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">me uncomfortable. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She seems to give me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the cold shoulder. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Like she’s... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she’s hiding something <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">from me.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What the heck <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is up with girls? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">They are, by far, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the most complicated <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">beings on this <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">planet. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Especially teenage girls. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">More specifically, my best friend, Rachel.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What the heck <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__school for eternity__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In my opinion, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">school shouldn’t even <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">exist. There is <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">absolutely no <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">point to this <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">frivolous affair.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s just a place <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">where smart people <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">can show off. I’m <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one of them, but <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m a humble person. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Plus, it’s a reminder <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that my best friend Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">goes there.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Of all people, he <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hasn’t missed a single <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">day of school. Of all <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">people, since he hates <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">school, he’s the only <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one with a perfect <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">attendance record. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The redundancy of <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the whole situation <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">boggles my mind.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The worst part is <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that he’s in all of <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my classes. Don’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">know how he <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">avoids me, but he <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">does. I’m not a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">very logical person <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so I wouldn’t know.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This time, surprisingly, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">he approached me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">first saying “Hi.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Hey. Haven’t talked to you in a while,” I said bitterly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Wouldn’t have been a while if you stopped ignoring me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What was that all about? What did I do that made you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">stop talking to me? Did I even do anything wrong?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Me? Ignoring you? You’re the one <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">who’s ignoring me and avoiding <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the question.” I look at him. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I believe there’s something you have to tell me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I haven’t been ignoring you. You’ve just been <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">acting weird Rachel. You have this bizarre <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hatred in your eyes.” He equalled my gaze. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What happened to the Rachel that I knew?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“She never left Xavier. She’s been here the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">whole time, but what about you? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Where have you been?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He scratched his head and sighed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’ve been hanging out with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Amanda more often. She’s my <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">partner for the science <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">project. I knew you didn’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">like her, so I never told you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I exhaled greatly. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I know she’s not on my list <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of top 10 to hang out with, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but you didn’t have to be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so. . . so remote. I’m your <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">best friend. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Aren’t I?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He reached down <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">his shirt to retrieve <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a locket with half a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">heart. On his half was <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">inscribed “Best <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel &”. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“This here locket <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">says so doesn’t it?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled. I pulled out <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my half of the locket. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The other half. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The one that says, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Friends Xavier.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Together it should say, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Best Friends Rachel & Xavier”. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I raised it at a certain degree <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so that our halves connected <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to complete the heart. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Best friends forever?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He snorted. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Best friends forever? More like BFFEs”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Best Friends For Eternity.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I looked at him quizzically. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Are you sure about <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the eternity part?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“If I wasn’t one hundred percent sure, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">would I still be hanging out with you?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He cupped his hands around my face <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in a playful way a mother does to her child. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Think logical for a moment.” Then he added <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with a voice of a five year old, “Now would I?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I slapped his hands away and smacked him <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on the back of his head. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pouted and added in the same childlike tone, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes I do.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__dude, girls are harsh__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Never thought I’d see <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a day where a guy <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">would be given <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a break. Girls <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">always need to know <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what you do every hour, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">every minute, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">every second <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of the day. They need <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to hear that you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">love them. That <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">there’s no one. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That you’ll make them <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">feel like the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">only girl in the world. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(Yeah I’m quoting Rihanna).

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That kind of commitment <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is complicated. That’s harsh. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//Girls// are harsh.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s a known fact <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that the guy’s part <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of the relationship <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is more difficult <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">than the girl’s.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We have to constantly <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">give the girl <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">flowers, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">dresses, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">jewelry, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">compliments, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">our spare time. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What more can <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">they want?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Girlfriends are tough <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but if your best friend <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is a girl, you’re doomed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Forever. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Girlfriends can dress up their boyfriend, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but girl //friends// can slap you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anytime they want. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Isn’t that harsh?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Note: <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">To all the guys out there, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for those who have girl friends <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//and// girlfriends, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">don’t let them abuse you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(Not the real abuse, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but where the girl has somehow the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">right to slap you.) <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Because dude, girls are **harsh.**

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__understanding__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A key component in a boyfriend <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is that he understands you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If he doesn’t, then there is <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">absolutely no point of <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">staying together.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A key component in a best friend <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is that they understand you too. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If they don’t, then they are <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">not really your best friend.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A key component in a boy friend <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is that he understands you also. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If he doesn’t, then is he really <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a friend of yours?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A key component in a relationship <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is that they understand you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If they don’t, then the relationship <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is weak and there can be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">no trust between each other.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A key component in a relationship with your parents <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is that they both understand you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If they don’t, then they aren’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">really being your parents.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If Xavier never understood me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">then would he still be hanging out with me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">after all these years?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If I never understood Xavier, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">would I care for him <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">this much?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If we never comprehended each other, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">our relationship as best friends <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">wouldn’t work. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Heck, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it wouldn’t even exist!

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Without an understanding between the two, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">then there’s nothing. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Understand?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__falling__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">There are...hmm... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one...two, two <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">definitions of <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">falling.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1)Falling - to move towards the ground in a downward motion

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2)Falling - to start developing feelings for someone; <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to fall for someone

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The first definition <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ve already done. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In kindergarten. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Fell and broke my poor wittle arm.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The second one... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">well... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">maybe, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but I’m not <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">positive.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">**MAYBE.**

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Not positive, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but this girl has <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">been occurring <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in my dreams, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">thoughts, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">daydreams, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my lyrics (yeah, I write songs), <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my art... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">**//e v e r y w h e r e.//**

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s sort of maddening that I’m... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m //infatuated// with this girl. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It may not be a healthy crush but... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Look, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ve known this girl <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">long enough to... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">have an understanding <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with her. She’s a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">great girl. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Amazing, to be exact. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’d do anything for her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’d catch a grenade for her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(Yeah, quoting Bruno Mars.)

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s beautiful. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She makes me smile. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She makes me laugh. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Knows me head to toe. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s smart. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s easy to talk to. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s understanding. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Did I mention she’s pulchritudinous? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(See, not the same ring to it.)

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Maybe... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Maybe I **//am//** falling for her...

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__who’s laughing now?__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who’s the wisecrack that decided <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to prank me? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who’s the nut job that decided <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to sabotage my locker?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh, that’s right. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yeah, well I left a little surprise <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in your locker also. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Think you can taunt me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Think you can hurt me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Bringing up my small crush <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on Drew in third grade?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Think you can inflict some bad memory? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Think you can get a good laugh from me? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Think you can get a shocked look on my face? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Wrong.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Left you something. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Left a picture of you in your onesie, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">running with a cape around your neck... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">at the age of fourteen.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Bought the 25x32. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Couldn’t fit it all in you locker. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Had to tape it on the back of the locker door <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and on the side. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Surprise! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Pay back Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You play hard ball, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I retaliate.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who said girls couldn’t fight back? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who said girls couldn’t gain revenge? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who said girls weren’t harsh?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who’s laughing Xavier? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Who’s laughing now?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__very funny__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thanks for the gift, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//Rachel.// <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I feel so special <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that you brought up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one of the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">multiple times <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I made you laugh.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And you know I wasn’t fourteen... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was... thirteen... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyways, you know well I <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">did that because you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">were sick, and I caused that to happen, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and I was trying to make <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you feel better.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I did that for //you.// <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And about the surprise <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I left for you in <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//your// locker, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that was to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">remind you that Drew <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">still hasn’t forgotten <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what you did for him. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I haven’t either. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Talk to him. Let’s see <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">if something clicks. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Remember... he’s single...

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m not trying to play matchmaker, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but Drew wants to try. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He told me to tell you.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh, by the way, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">saw that little note you gave me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Very funny. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I //used// to like her until... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Never mind. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can’t play matchmaker, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">neither can you.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You think you’re so clever. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You think you got the best of me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You think that I was humiliated. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Wrong.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I //will// prevail. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I actually thought that the picture <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">was pretty funny. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Very funny actually. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Very funny...

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__playing games__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know what signals Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is giving me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now they’re mixed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He’s trying to hook me up with Drew? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier never liked Drew, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So why is he trying to make me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">date him?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I used to like Drew, but that changed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Is this some sign that Xavier is trying to get rid of me? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Is that it? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He doesn’t want to be my best friend anymore?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Why is he pushing the envelope for me to date Drew? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was kind of hoping that he was going to... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That Xavier... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Never mind. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That was a foolish thought.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I seriously am confused by what he’s trying to tell me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I seriously am hurt by his offer. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I seriously don’t want to date Drew. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I seriously want to date him. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Fine. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I said it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I admit it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I want to date Xavier, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but is that going to happen?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He’s giving me weird messages, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">mixed signals. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Can’t he quit playing games <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and just tell me straightforward? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That’s what I assume he’s doing. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He’s playing games with my heart. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well he has to stop. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It hurts me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It really does.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__confused__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I bumped into <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel today. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Her eyes were all puffy <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and red. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//Real// red. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She looked like she didn’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">get enough sleep last night. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m really concerned <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">about her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">About her feelings. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">About her well being.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I tried to talk to her, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but she pushed me away.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know if it’s about yesterday. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know if something happened. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know if someone taunted her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know if she failed something. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">**I don’t know.**

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am //so// confused right now. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//Too// confused.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__the encounter__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I sat in the library <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with a box of tissues. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I attempted to read a book, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but my sniffles kept coming back.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Word of advice: <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Don’t go to your cousins house <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when you are completely aware <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that they have the flu. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Turns out that even if you are wearing long sleeves, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you can get sick too.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Obviously, I went to school. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Obviously, I didn’t want to miss anything. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Obviously, I shouldn’t have gone to school.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A head poked out from behind a book shelf. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I squinted my eyes and realized who it was. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I began to pack up my things, but he came to me first.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What the heck happened to you?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I stared coldly. “A simple hello or <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">‘how are you feeling today?’ <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">would’ve been nice.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier rolled his eyes. “Hey Rachel, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what the heck happened to you?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Seriously?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He shrugged.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Went to cousin’s house. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She had flu. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Got too close. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Got sick myself. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Still went to school,” I said slowly <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as if he didn’t grasp the concept <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the first time.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Don’t have to be so heartless.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He grabbed a chair and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">pulled it next to me. He <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">placed his hand on <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my forehead.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“My head is throbbing,” I confessed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“My sinuses are congested, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my tongue feels dry, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and my tummy hurts.” I winced at his touch.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Then why did you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">go to school?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Do I have any other choice? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mom went out of town. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Dad is on a business trip. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can’t take care of myself. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know how to tend to myself, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when it comes to illnesses.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Then come over to my house. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Simple as that.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Don’t want to be a burden.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Come on. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re burning up again. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Besides, Zia would like <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to see you again. You know <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">how happy that would make her.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The thought of Zia made me smile. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m sorry about the picture. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I didn’t mean to. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I guess this is karma’s way of <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">getting back at me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“It’s alright. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was the instigator. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was kind of expecting <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you to retaliate.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That confuses me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but oh well.” I grabbed my things <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and headed out the door.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It was a torrential downpour. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pulled my hood up and ran. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I ran to my car but I forgot to get gas. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I slammed my fists into the steering wheel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Really karma? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You wanna play that way?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Someone tapped my window. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I scrolled down.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Why don’t we use my car instead?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I reluctantly got out of my own car <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and walked to Xavier’s car. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I sat down in the passenger seat quietly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“If you’re in my car, that means <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you’re going to stay at my house until <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you feel better. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Understood?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I nodded.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We drove all the way to his house <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in silence.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__maybe...__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We got to my place <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in about the speed <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of sound. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Well, maybe not. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But we got there pretty <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">fast.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pulled out my home keys <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">from my pocket and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">opened the door.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia rushed towards me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and gave me a big hug. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She peeked around me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and noticed Rachel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia pulled her inside <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and began talking to her... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">sort of.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel began making gestures <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that I never understood and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia replied.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My sister is deaf. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Let’s put it at that. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She was born this way <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and always will be. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I used to yell at Zia, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but that was before I knew. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Before I knew that she was <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">going to stay like this <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for the rest of her life.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I heard laughter. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I shook my head from <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my trance and looked <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to see Rachel laughing. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Probably Zia said something <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">funny and Rachel began laughing.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I still don’t get how <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you know how to speak sign language.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well I’ve been learning since <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was five. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I have a cousin who’s <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">partially deaf, so he learned <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">sign language. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I learned it with him, I still do, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so he wouldn’t be alone and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so that I could talk with him.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well then. I did not <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">know that about you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You don’t know //everything// <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">about me, but it’s the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">complete opposite with you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I know //everything// about you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Why is that?” I asked.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Because you’re an open book.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Are you sure? I thought I kept <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">some things away from you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Nope. I even know that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you have a crush on <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What?” I asked incredulously.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m just kidding.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My shoulders relaxed.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Or am I?” Rachel sneezed.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A voice from the kitchen yelled, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I heard a sneeze! Who was that?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom came into the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">living room. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Hello Rachel. I assume that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">was you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel nodded.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well you’re in luck. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I made chicken soup.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom told Zia <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">something that I think <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">was about dinner, and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia dashed away into <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the kitchen. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Xavier, can you give <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel some spare clothes <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">from upstairs? Girl <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">clothes this time.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Oh it’s okay. It <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">doesn’t matter with me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I ran up the stairs <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and grabbed pants and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a t-shirt out of a box <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">labeled, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“If Rachel Comes Over”. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was perplexed on who <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">titled the box that, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but I just ran down <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the stairs again.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Here.” I throw her the clothes.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Thanks,” she said.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Xavier. You could’ve at least <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">handed it to her instead of <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">chucking them at her face.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well she caught it.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“It’s okay Mrs. Miller. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m used to Xavier throwing <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">stuff at me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom’s eyes widened. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You throw stuff at Rachel!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What? NO!” I turned to Rachel, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but she just gave me a smirk. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Only soft things though.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Like what?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Clothes, pillows, plush items...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well stop that.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Fine. Whatever.” I changed <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the subject. “Mom, when can <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we eat? I’m starving.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-decoration: line-through;">―――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――――

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After we ate, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel and I <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">watched television. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know how long <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we were watching, but <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">at some point, Rachel <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">fell asleep with her <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">head on my shoulder. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I let her stay there. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sleeping soundly and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">looking beautiful than <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">ever. I don’t know why, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but she looks really <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">cute when asleep. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I began to nod off too.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Before I fell asleep, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I thought maybe... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just maybe, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel liked me too. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel just may like <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">me as much as I do. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Maybe...

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__awkward__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I find myself, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when I wake up, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in the arms of Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I glance at him <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">only to find out <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that he was already awake. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">... Awkward...

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He lets go immediately. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Sorry. You feel asleep and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I couldn’t get you off my shoulder. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re heavier than I thought.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I punch him lightly on the arm. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I didn’t gain any weight. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Maybe you just got weaker.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Whatever. Save your <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">feminine pride.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What feminine pride? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I never had pride. Heck, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m self-deprecating.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“My question is why? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Why don’t you have <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">any confidence in yourself?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I just don’t.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That’s not a valid reason <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and you know it.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Then what is? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That I can’t handle compliments? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That I’m afraid?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Afraid of what?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I bit my lip. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Afraid to love.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Afraid to love who?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This conversation was getting <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">real awkward. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I wasn’t about to confess <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">about my feelings <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for Xavier.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He looked at me expectantly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just then, Zia came in, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">skipping towards us <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in her penguin pajamas <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and pigtails.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Good morning” she signaled to me.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled. I began talking to Zia.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Xavier,” Mrs. Miller called, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Come into the kitchen <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and help me cook breakfast.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier reluctantly got up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and gave me a look that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">said “We’ll talk about <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">this later.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just ignored this and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">continued talking to Zia.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just got myself <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in a heap of trouble. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just got myself <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">into an awkward position. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just put <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier and I’s friendship <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in an awkward position. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Things are just about <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to get <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">more awkward.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__darn__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I woke up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">noticing that Rachel <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is wrapped up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in my arms <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">against me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">because I’ve always <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">wanted this to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">happen. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But I let go of her <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when she found out <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that I was awake. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn. So close.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I was helping <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my mom, I just kept <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">thinking about Rachel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Her red hair, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her warmth against me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her startled blue eyes...

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom asked, “You sure <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">seem in such a great mood.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I break from my trance. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Huh? Oh yeah. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I had an awesome <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">dream.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Was it about Rachel?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn. She knows. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then again, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she’s the knowing.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Maybe,” I said inaudibly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You know, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">if you don’t ask her out <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">anytime soon, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll force you to. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll drag you to her <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and make you ask her.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn. She knows <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that I want <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to date her too. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What else does she know?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I know I can’t force you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">two, but I want Rachel <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to be my daughter <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in-law.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn. She even knows <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">about my want to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">marry Rachel.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You know I got really <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">close to asking her, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but you ruined it.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Did I? Darn.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn is exactly what <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//I// was thinking.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was close to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">asking her out. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Close to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her mouth. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Close to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">getting a kiss. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So close.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well, there’s prom <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I know that.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You can ask her out <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to there.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Mom, every guy <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">wants to go with her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//Every guy.//”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What makes you think <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that you don’t have <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a chance?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m her best friend. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Do you think she’d <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">want to make our <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">tight relationship <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">awkward?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“If she loved you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I winced. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m not sure if she does. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was never sure. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just hoped. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Maybe Mom. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Maybe...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Only maybe? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Shouldn’t you know <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">by her actions?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well I’m not sure.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Honey,” she usually never calls me that, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“you //should// know. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A girl like that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">doesn’t come here everyday.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I ran my hand through <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my hair. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I know Mom, okay?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn. She doesn’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">think I know that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">already?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m scared though Mom. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m scared to be rejected. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m scared that if I’m rejected, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that I just ruined our friendship. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Our friendship is on the line.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“To heck with friendship! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If she loves you, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">then there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mom, you know everything <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I think of. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">There’s nothing <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that escapes from you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">There’s nothing <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can hide from you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Darn.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__whoa__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I finally recovered from <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my fever. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thank goodness it was just <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a fever. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I went to school two <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">days later. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier helped me with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what I missed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He claims I didn’t even need <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">any aid. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Whatever.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I heard whispers today. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Something about me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This can’t be good. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what it’s about though. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I keep getting <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">cold stares, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">snarls, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">looks of longing, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">weird looks from guys. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Awkward.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I bit my lip <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and picked up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the pace.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m sort of scared. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Actually, I’m really scared. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was so scared, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I didn’t notice the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Caution: Wet Floor” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">sign. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I slipped and fell <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">backwards. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I expected to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hit the ground, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was still in midair.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I thought this to be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">an unworldly miracle, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but when I opened my eyes, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one by one, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier was smiling <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">at me.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Got’ cha.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Whoa. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That scared the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">heck out of me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“It should’ve, if <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I wasn’t there.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He helped me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">until I gained my balance. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Exactly what was scaring <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you that made you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">run in the hall that fast?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m hearing a lot <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of things about <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well that’s nothing <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to be worried about.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I sighed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I turned around, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but remembered, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Thanks, Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I owe you one.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Obviously, you do.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I walked up toward him. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Exactly what do I owe <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you this time?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He took a step <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">closer to me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“To be my date <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for the prom.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He was about two <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">inches away from <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my mouth.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Man, I really wanted <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to kiss him.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Is that what everyone’s <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">been talking about?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You didn’t think <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’d ask you to go <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with me without <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a little fun, did you?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smile. I took his hand <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in mine. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I wouldn’t expect <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">anything else from you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__really?__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really?” I whispered.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She nodded. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Of course <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I will.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You’re serious? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re going with me? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This isn’t a joke?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She smiled <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and even giggled.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled at her too. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Positive?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“One hundred percent.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was so excited. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I picked her up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and spun her around <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">until I was dizzy. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">All the while, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she was laughing.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Okay, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you can put <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">me down now.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I let her feet touch <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the ground before <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I cupped my hands <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">around her face. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Thank you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“For what? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m the one who <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">should be thanking <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//you// for not <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">letting me fall.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You know I’d <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">never let that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">happen to you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well now I do.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We began walking down <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the hallway. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I didn’t notice <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that our hands were <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">still intertwined, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">until she let go <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to get into the bathroom.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I waited for her.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In my mind, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">everything was <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">going ten times faster. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My heart was pounding <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so loud that I was <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">shocked that she couldn’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hear it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My hands were shaking, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but they stopped <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when she took my hand again.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Really, it was <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the best feeling ever. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m not trying to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">sound weird. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Don’t think of me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as some weirdo. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s just that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her hand feels <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">soft and warm, unlike <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my hand. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And her lips. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Gosh, her lips. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was real close this time. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//Real// close. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Closer than last time.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I thought about what <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my mom said to me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled at the thought. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Mom, you were right,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I whispered.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What’d you say?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Nothing. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m just excited.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Me too.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Don’t start on <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">me again or <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll regret saying <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">yes.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Don’t.” I pull <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">our arms in a swinging <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">motion down <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the hall. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m sorry. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just really <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">wanted to go to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">prom with you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes. Just because <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it came from you, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll let it slide.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I took a sideways <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">glance at her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I noticed her blushing.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Prom is coming real fast.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I know.” I stop in <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">front of my car. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You still don’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">have your car yet.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Nope.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Come. I’ll drive you home.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“How much more <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">do I owe you?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Nothing now. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You going to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">prom with me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">makes up for <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">everything.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__i need a favor__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I got home, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I ran directly <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">up the stairs <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and squealed into <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my pillow while <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">kicking the bed sheets.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s coming true. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s finally coming true.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m getting all jittery, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">replaying that scene <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in my mind. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Over and over <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">again.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am going to prom <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier Miller. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The most amazing guy <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">at school. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I, Rachel Rosse, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">am going to the prom with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I sound really <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">excited and annoying <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">right now, but I <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">just can’t believe it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Gosh. I have <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">millions of butterflies <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in my stomach right now.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Prom is in a week. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m not that crazy about it, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but I’m going with Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and I want it to be memorable. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It doesn’t have to be perfect. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just don’t want any problems <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">between Xavier and I.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I peeked in my closet <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and I was upset with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my taste in dresses. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">They weren’t the best.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I lightbulb went off in <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my head. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I ran down the stairs <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and out the door. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Across the street, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">around the corner, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and three houses down. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I rang the doorbell while <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">still catching my breath.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier opened the door, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">his eyes wide. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Um... Rachel, the rumors <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">are over. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">There’s nothing to be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">running from.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m not running from, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m running to.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Exactly where?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I stood with my <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hands on my hips.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Sorry. I’m guessing <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you’re here for Zia.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Actually, no, but <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’d like to see her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My purpose was to talk <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with your mom.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier did a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">double take. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“My mom?” he asked <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">incredulously.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I nodded. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yeah your mom.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He stepped out of the way. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Go ahead. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll be up in my room, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">laughing until my <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">guts explode.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I slap his arm. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Drop the act Xavier.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">While he was going up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the stairs, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">he ran his fingers through <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">his hair and said, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Of all people, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my mom?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I giggled on my way <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to the kitchen. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Conveniently, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">both Mrs. Miller <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and Zia were there.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Hello,” I greeted. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I waved to Zia.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia ran to me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and squeezed <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the breath out of me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia was the sister <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I never had, and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m the sister she <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">wished she had.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I made a bunch of gestures <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to her and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when I finished, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia eyes went wide <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and she squealed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mrs. Miller was startled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When Zia began telling <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her, Mrs. Miller screamed <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">out, “Yes!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I grinned widely.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Is it true?” Mrs. Miller asked.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I nodded.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Thank the heavens <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for this miracle! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ve been waiting <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for my son to get <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the guts to ask you out.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really? Well, I need a favor.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What is it?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’ve heard that you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">have a hobby for <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">designing dresses and...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Say no more child. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You want me to make <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you a dress.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes. I’m not <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">going to give you any <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">specifics because <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I know you’ll know <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what to do.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Thank you Rachel.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mrs. Miller gave me a hug.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“For what?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“For letting me do <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one of the things <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I love to do again.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You’re welcome.”

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #000000; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">11-3-11 <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__fashion crisis__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is awkward... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Have you ever heard <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of a guy with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a fashion crisis? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Think about that. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A guy. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With a //fashion// crisis. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">How ridiculous is <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//that?//

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pilfered through <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my closet and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">couldn’t find <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">anything nice for <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">prom. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Heck, I don’t even <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">own a tux.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Mom! I need help <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with picking out <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">clothes!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In a few seconds, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my mom came in, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">looking distressed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Who’s threatening you?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“No one.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Are you sure? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You never ask me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for help with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">apparel.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well it’s for the prom.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She let out a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">big sigh. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Oh my goodness. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I thought you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">were joking.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“No Mom, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but it is a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">real crisis.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Why is it?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I have nothing <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to wear for prom.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom began <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">laughing. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//Laughing.//

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I gave her a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">worried expression.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She cleared her throat. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Sorry. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I thought I’d be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hearing that from <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my daughter, not <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my //son.//”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Go laugh, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but if I wanna <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">look good for <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel, you best <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">be helping me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well, it’s just so <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">convenient that I’m <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">taking the thread <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and needle back up. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel asked me to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">make her dress, so <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can make your <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">tuxedo also. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What’s Rachel’s favorite <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">color?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Lavender,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I answered with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">no hesitation <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">whatsoever.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That would go <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">lovely with <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the design. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can make you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a black tux <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and a lavender tie, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so something will <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">match, but in a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">subtle way.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Okay, but I’m <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">just worried <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that you won’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">get both done.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Have a little <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">faith in mother <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for once.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’ll try.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Oh, by the way, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you can’t look at <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her dress.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Fine.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“If you do, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you’ll be cursed <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with bad luck.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Promise.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You better,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she snorted <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before she left.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I plopped down on my bed, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and I just smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I couldn’t wait for <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">another week. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If I just don’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">stare at the clock, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">time will fly by <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">quickly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One week will pass by. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then it’ll be time. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Time to make sure <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that Rachel will be mine. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Forever and eternity.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__day before__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The day before prom. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I got a lot of smiles, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">glances, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">giggles, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and extensive conversations with girls I don’t normally associate with.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I never saw Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the whole day. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know how <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that’s possible <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">because he’s in all of my classes. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It just seemed like he <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">put a lot of distance <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">between us. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Either that, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">or he’s just super excited. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I know I am.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I realized, when I got home, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that I’d still be alone. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mom and Dad are still away, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so I’ll have to do my makeup <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">by myself. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is gonna be a train wreck. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know how to put <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">makeup on, nor do I know <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">how to fix my hair <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">into anything other than <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a ponytail. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Oh well, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll cross that bridge <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when I get there. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The only thing that’s on my mind <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is Xavier and I. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That’s it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s a good thing I <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">finished my assignments already. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That would’ve been bad.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s the day before prom, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and I’m head over heels. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And I’m ready to get Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for my own. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He’ll be mine. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Forever and eternity.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__getting ready__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After I finished my <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">main priority, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">which is homework, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I took a shower.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I noticed that when <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I entered my bedroom <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">again, the tux was <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">splayed on my bed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She did it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom //actually// did it.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Thanks!” I yell out the door.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I get dressed and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">check my watch. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">One hour early. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I moaned. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The wait will be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//endless.//

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I walked down the stairs <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and I see a flash.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Smile.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I looked confused.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That’s not how <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you smile son,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my dad pointed out.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled reluctantly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Okay. Now it’s time to talk.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I thought I already <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">had this discussion <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when I was thirteen.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Not //that// discussion. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The prom discussion.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Okay. What about it?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“One: Don’t be stupid. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Two: Be the gentleman. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Three: Be sure to stand by her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Four: Don’t get serious until you know she loves you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Five: Have fun.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That’s it? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I expected a lecture.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Those were just the rules. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now I’m going to get into <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the lecture.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I moaned.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__getting girly__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I took a shower <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and got in my bath robe. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I heard the doorbell.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I ran down the stairs <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and opened the door.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Special delivery.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mrs. Miller stepped inside. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Finished your dress. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hope it does you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">justice, which I know <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">it will.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled brightly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Positive attitude. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Great. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m going to fix your hair <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and put your makeup on. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You can’t take a peek <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">until I’m done.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Thank you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Don’t thank me yet.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I kept my eyes closed <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">unless Mrs. Miller applied <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">eyeliner and mascara. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Whatever those are.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With my eyes closed, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was sort of scared, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but I trust Mrs. Miller. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ve known her all my life. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She’s like my second mother <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">since my mom is always somewhere else.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I didn’t feel Mrs. Miller’s <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">reassuring hands. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Are you done?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“With your makeup and hair. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now for the real test. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Let’s put this little number on.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I allowed Mrs. Miller dress me up.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Now I’m officially done. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Look at you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pried open my eyes <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">one by one. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I gasped.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The dress was lavender. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My favorite color. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The dress followed my figure <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">perfectly. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mrs. Miller didn’t even take measurements. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The dress crossed over one <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of my shoulders and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">left the other one bare. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That ribbon continued down <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the dress in a ruffling manor. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The dress fell to the ground <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and had a small train. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My makeup complimented my complexion <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and the dress. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I absolutely loved this whole outfit.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Thank you,” I whispered. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I gave Mrs. Miller a hug.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A vibration went off.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Hold on.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mrs. Miller rapidly replied to her text. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was shocked to see her answer in record time. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Sorry. My husband was stalling Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with this lecture and what not.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I stifled a laugh.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I told him that it’s safe for Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to come and pick you up.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Can’t wait.” I grinned.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">11-4-11 <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__picking her up__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was going to do this <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">anyway, but Dad <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">suggested using my <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">own car to save money. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Like that was the purpose <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of why I chose my car.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1)I can’t afford to rent a limo.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2)My car is perfectly fine.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">3)It wouldn’t be as memorable.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll explain number three. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If I rented a limo, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I won’t see that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">specific car everyday <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as a reminder of prom. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On the other hand, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with //my// car, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can reminisce the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">moment I ask Rachel out. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Tonight’s the night <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m going to ask her out.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My hands are quaking <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">right now, as I’m driving. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But that’ll stop <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">if she takes my hand. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">All jittery feelings <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">will cease once she takes <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her confident hand in <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my apprehensive one.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I parked my car in <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the driveway. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I walked up the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">path and stood <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on the porch. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I took a //d e e p// breath. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Slowly, I pushed <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the doorbell. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Immediately, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">there in front of me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">was the most pulchritudinous girl in the world. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Correction, I’m going to say <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//b e a u t i f u l.//

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Anyways, the sight <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of her made me melt.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She smiled her <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//beautiful// white smile. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Hey. I heard you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">got a lecture.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“How’d you—”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just then, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my mom popped up from behind <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and got a picture of me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Time for pictures.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel widened the door. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Come in. It may <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">take awhile.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I hopped in <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and closed the door.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Now Xavier, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hold Rachel from behind.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I inched toward Rachel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Like this?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I grabbed her from behind <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and she shrieked.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Like that, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but don’t scare her.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Fine. Let’s <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">take a picture <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the hard way.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I placed my arms <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">around Rachel’s waist <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and stood behind her, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">placing my chin on <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her right shoulder. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">All the while, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she had both her arms <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">around mine.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Great.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The next picture, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel was less tense. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She even rested her <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">head on mine.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That’s enough pictures. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">These are going on Facebook!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Great,” I mumbled.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Indeed it will Xavier.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel looked at them. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You don’t like the pictures?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She actually sounded fragile. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It was weird. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“No,” I quickly said. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That’s not what I meant.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I scratched my hair. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m just worried <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that I won’t look <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as good as you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I probably look stupid.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Mrs. Miller, may I see <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the camera?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom handed her the camera.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel grinned. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You don’t look bad. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Actually you look really good. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//Really// hot.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Hot huh?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel gave the camera back. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“We better get going.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My mom began laughing, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and I knew the reason why. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She caught my eye, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and she winked at me.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Okay. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Bye Mom.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Have fun.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“We will.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel and I both <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">grabbed the handle <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">at the same time. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She retracted quickly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“After you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">11-5-11 <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__driving there__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I kept looking at <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No matter what, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just kept looking.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He looked amazing. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I mean amazing, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I mean super hot.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">His hair had the same <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">disheveled look to it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">His tux fit his frame <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">perfectly, and the lavender tie. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes, the lavender tie. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We were matching. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Purple really brought <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">his green eyes out. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Purple made him <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">look hot.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Every time I glanced at him, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and he noticed, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I averted my attention <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">somewhere else. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When he’d catch me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">he’d smile shyly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I loved that smile.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We kept in silence <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">all the way to the school.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Before we left the car, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier broke the silence. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Why are you so quiet <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">all of a sudden?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I really don’t know.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Didn’t you want to go to prom with me?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes. I really want to go with you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just don’t know why I keep... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">staring at you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He took my hand <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in his. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Don’t feel embarrassed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I constantly kept <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">staring at you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Almost did a double take <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when I saw you at the door.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He smiled genuinely.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I tilted my head to the side. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Because I did a double take <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when I saw you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“See? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then what’s the problem?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t think there is one now.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Great. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now do you wanna go in now?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I thought for a moment, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in a playful tone. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Let me rephrase that, then. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Do you wanna go in now <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to have a great time with me?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Fine.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Not even a sure?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Then heck yeah! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I want to go with you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Much better.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__prom__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I held out my <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">arm for her to take. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel looped her left <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">arm in my right. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I felt her relax <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as she placed her hand <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">on my arm. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She leaned against me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel was just like me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We both feel comfortable <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with each other, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but by ourselves, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we’re reckless.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She leaned her head against my shoulder. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When we entered, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we got many stares.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She whispered in my ear, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Why do they keep <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">staring at us?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I leaned down and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">whispered back, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know. It’s not everyday <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you see a couple in <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">matching purple.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“It’s lavender. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You know it’s my favorite color, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">yet you still make fun of it.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Because of all colors, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you choose lavender.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You don’t like my dress then?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She sounded hurt by my comment.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“No! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I love it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s just...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“It’s just what?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Exactly. I win.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Win what?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“A dance with you.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She wrapped her arms <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">around my neck, and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pulled her close <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and held onto her hips. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She locked eyes with me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and slowly smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You don’t feel as awkward <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as I do right now do you?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Not really. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I actually like this. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">More like enjoying this.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I bit my lip for being <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so open about my feelings <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for her.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I was talking about <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">how I demanded a dance with you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I liked it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It was bold, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">fierce. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Not like you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She dropped her gaze. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I took my arm away <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">from her left side <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and placed it under <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her chin to lift her <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">head gently. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Why are you looking down?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Then keep looking at me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She reluctantly moved <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her eyes up to mine. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel’s eyes appeared <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to have turned light blue <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with a tinge of... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">lavender?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My lips curled into a smile. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Much better.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I know I slipped when I said this, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but I mean this one. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You look //really// nice.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“And you look pulchritudinous.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Pulchri-what?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She stared at me, confused.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Pulchritudinous means beautiful.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She giggled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“If you ever want to tell a girl <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that she’s pretty, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">don’t say pulchritudinous. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Ever again.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel did a double take. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You think I’m pretty?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yeah. Yeah, I do.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Remember when I made that bet? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I lost. Rachel didn’t slap me.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well then I think you’re hot.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Really?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Always have Xavier.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She covered her mouth.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pulled her hand away <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">from her mouth, and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I slowly inched towards <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If I want that kiss, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">better get it now.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel lowered her gaze <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">onto my mouth. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She leaned in also.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just when I was a <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">hair’s breadth away, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the song stopped <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">abruptly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“It’s time to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">announce the prom <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">king and queen.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Really karma? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You wanna play that way?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We turned our heads to the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">direction where a teacher was standing.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“By an overwhelming amount of votes, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the prom queen is Rachel Rosse!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What?” She stared at me incredulously.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I shrugged.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She let go of me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and walked up to the stage <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with a winning smile.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“And the prom king, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">winning by a landslide, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is Xavier Miller!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My eyes had a look <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that screamed, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“The killer is right behind me”, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">yet my smile contradicted that. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Somehow, I got up the stage <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and stood right next to Rachel.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel grapsed my hand <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and gave it a tight squeeze.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The many faces looked at us <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">expectantly. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">For some odd reason, they all <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">began chanting, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Kiss, kiss, kiss!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I glanced at Rachel, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but she looked nervously <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">down at her shoes. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When she met my eyes, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I started leaning toward her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was about three centimeters <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">away from her face, but she whispered, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I can’t Xavier.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I stared at her quizzically. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I can’t kiss you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Just awhile ago, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you wanted to.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m sorry. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just can’t.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Wait. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You don’t like me?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I do, it’s just...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You don’t like me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the way I do,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I finished for her.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“No! I just don’t feel <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">comfortable...” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel turned on her heel <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and began running.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Rachel! Rachel, come back!” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I sprinted toward the exit. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The doors were flapping, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">indicating she left through <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the front doors. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I rushed out the doors <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and scanned the horizon. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Rachel! Rachel, where are you?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When I couldn’t find her, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I walked towards my car <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and kicked the side of my truck. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With every kick, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I screamed “Why?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I opened the door <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and slammed the car door. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I punched the steering wheel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Stupid! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Why’d I pressure Rachel? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Stupid, stupid, stupid!” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I placed my head in my hands <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and began sobbing.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">11-6-11 <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__hurt__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I bolted through the doors, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before Xavier could catch me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pulled my heels off and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">dashed toward my house. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No matter how many times <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I heard Xavier’s pleas, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I moved another foot <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">farther away from him. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I cried harshly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With every step brought pain. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With every step came a thought. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That thought was “Why did I leave?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What was I afraid of? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Don’t I love him as much as <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">he loved me? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Why didn’t I kiss him?

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I found myself in my house, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">crying in Mrs. Miller’s arms.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Hush child. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Tell me what made you run <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">like the devil was chasing you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Through choked sobs, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I... left... Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I... don’t know... why. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Everyone... was... just... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">pressuring us... to... kiss. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I really... wanted to... kiss Xavier, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but not... that way. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I wanted it... to be for... real, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">not while... everyone is... watching us. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Does that... make sense?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“It does Rachel.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I let go of Mrs. Miller. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I feel real bad now.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You should honey. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re mascara is running <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">down your beautiful face.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That’s the least of my worries.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My words said one thing, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but my actions said another. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pulled a tissue from the box <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and began wiping the makeup off. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What will Xavier think of me now?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Rachel, don’t you think <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that if Xavier love you as much <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as you love him, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">he would understand? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you explain to him why, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">then he’ll understand.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">We’ve been having some... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">miscommunications <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">for quite a while now.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well fix that.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I closed my eyes. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know what to do. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Don’t know how to start. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Only thing I know is that I’m hurt <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and that this was the worst night.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“It was the dress wasn’t it?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“No! The dress is beautiful. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s just...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What? The makeup?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“No. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier and I were chosen <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to be this year’s prom <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">king and queen. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I didn’t run, nor did Xavier.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Shouldn’t you be happy?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I don’t know.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__i might lose her__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I drove all the way home <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and ignored my dad. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pounded up the stairs <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and slammed the door. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I changed into something more comfortable <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to wash away the horrors of tonight. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I fell on my bed and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">stared at the ceiling.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What am I going to do?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I muttered to myself.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well, for starters, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you can tell your old man <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what happened.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I jumped up from the mattress. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Dad, look...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He held his hand up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to silence me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“From the beginning.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I told my dad everything. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He asked the occasional <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">question and said a retort <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">at some times.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Well you’re in a heap of trouble.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I thought you were going to help me?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I am. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Why don’t you just call Rachel <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and ask her why she left. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Simple enough right?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I suppose.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That’s as simplified as you’re <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">getting Xavier.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I sighed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Fine.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I took my phone out <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and began dialing.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Not now.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I gave him a quizzical look.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Rachel’s venting her <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">feelings to your mom.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“How do you know this?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Your mom texted me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You guys know how <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to //text?//”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes, your mom and I are old, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but we’re not ancient.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With that, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">my dad left my room.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia came galloping in. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She knew I don’t know <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">sign language, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">so she gave me a note. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then, Zia galloped out.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I unfolded the note. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It stated: <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Mom told me what happened. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Through text, not call. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She told me that Rachel <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is super upset. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know what you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">did Xavier, but <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you better fix it. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel is like the sister <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I never had, and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you’re making this difficult. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You promised me that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you’d make her happy <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">tonight. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You failed to do so Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Please make amends. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Please find out why. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Please do this for <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the sake of your sister, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">yourself, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and your relationship with her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you don’t do something, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you’ll definitely lose her <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">forever. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re not gonna find someone <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">like Rachel ever again Xavier. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Please do the right thing. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is a forewarning. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Make amends, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">or lose Rachel <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">forever.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__next few days__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I avoided anybody <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and everybody. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier tried to talk to me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but I just kept avoiding him. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Whenever I’d be alone, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">silent tears would fall down my face. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier would be so close to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">talking to me, but <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I wouldn’t give him the chance. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I would recall what Mrs. Miller told me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">If you explain to him why, then he’ll understand.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I may have just been a coward, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">or I may have just been afraid. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t know. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Something tells me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">we won’t reach common grounds. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I may be wrong, but <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m not taking the chance.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My next few days have been <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">monotonous ones. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’d rather have this rerun <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">than being mortified <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of the unpredictable.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes, I’m beating around the bush, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but it’s the best way without being hurt. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s dumb, but it’s the only way.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__attempted to__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I attempted to call Rachel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In fact, exactly one hundred times. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">No joke. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I attempted to e-mail her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She probably deleted them all <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before she even tried to read them. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I attempted to text her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She deleted them all. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">According to Zia, she did. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I attempted to talk to her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She ran away from me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">or she had a look like she was about to cry. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I went out on a limb here. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I attempted to give her a letter. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel either ripped it apart <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">or she put it in a fire.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Dad, your plan failed. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What do I do now? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What do I do <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">because I don’t know. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m confused. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m lost. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Not only are girls harsh <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to guys physically, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but they are emotionally too.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">They can get a guy so confused. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel, can’t you cut me some slack? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m trying to reach an understanding <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">with you, but you’re <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">making this difficult.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel, just talk to me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Please. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m begging of you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just talk to me.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">11-7-11 <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__finally__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I finally decided to go <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">talk to Xavier... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After school. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">School doesn’t seem <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">like the appropriate time <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to... breech this conversation. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But I have to do my assignments still... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After I finish those, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">then I’ll go to his house. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What about dinner? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll cook that and <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">then go to Xavier’s house. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Stop! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you’ll have to face him <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">at some point. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So stop procrastinating.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Today, at school, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I couldn’t find Xavier, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">yet he was here today. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I seriously don’t know how <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">he can avoid me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">while we have the <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">same exact schedule. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s almost humanly impossible.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After school, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I waited about two hours. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Between those two hours, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I spent them productively. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I did all my assignments, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">cooked dinner, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and mentally prepared a monologue to tell him.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Some odd force <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">got me moving though. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My legs were moving <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">closer, inch by inch, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">towards Xavier’s house. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was shaky. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I admit that. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was nervous. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Heck, my heart was pounding <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">out of my shirt.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I finally got to the porch. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I knocked lightly. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then, I realized that was <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a dumb decision. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I pulled a string, that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I hid in the bushes, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that was attached to a bell <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in Zia’s room. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She obviously can’t hear it, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but she can see it shaking.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A few moments later, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia opened the door. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She gave me a hug. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Zia began signaling to me quickly. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It’s as if she was a regular <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">thirteen year old. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Not deaf, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but a regular girl.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I smiled. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I told her to calm down. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I gestured to her, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Where’s your brother?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">But before she directed him to me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I glanced up and saw Xavier <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">huddled next to Amanda <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in a loving way. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">A tear managed to escape my eye <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before I turned on my heel and ran.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">__broke__

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I looked up <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to see Rachel there. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She looked like... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">like something <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">pained her to see. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She turned on her heel and ran.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was shocked. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I managed to see Zia <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">shaking her head disapprovingly <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before I sprinted out the door.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Not again. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This can’t be happening again. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can’t lose her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can’t. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I just can’t. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Rachel! Rachel! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">can you just talk to me?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“About what?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She spat at me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">as she slowed down. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I regret not joining the track team <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">when she did. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m fast... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just not as fast as her.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“About why you keep <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">running away.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I thought you didn’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">like Amanda,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she said, averting the subject.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What do you mean?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You know exactly what I mean, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Xavier John Miller.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She just had to pull out <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">the full name. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You think that there’s <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">something going on <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">between me and Amanda?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She nodded slowly. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“That’s what I saw.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I noticed how red <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">her eyes were. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">How her cheeks were <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">stained with tears. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Is that a problem?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes. Yes it is.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Why? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What do you have <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">against Amanda.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You never liked her!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You mean //you// never liked her.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I silenced her. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Amanda is a nice girl. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I know you two never got along...”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Never got along?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She asked incredulously. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Never got along <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">is an understatement. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She stole everything <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that meant something <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">from me!”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What did Amanda ever steal from you?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“She stole you,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel whispered.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“She stole you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">from me.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You never lost me Rachel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re the one that’s lost.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">More tears fell down her face. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I didn’t talk to you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">because I didn’t know //how// to.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Rachel, you’ve been talking <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to me for over thirteen years now.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Not this way,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she yelled.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What way? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re making no sense.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She placed her head <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">in her hands. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Her voice was muffled, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but still audible <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to hear her say, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Xavier, I love you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Whoa. What?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She lifted her head. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I said I love you. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I always have, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">always will.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I felt dizzy. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“This is making no sense, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">whatsoever. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just three months ago, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you fled from me <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">before I could kiss you! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Now you’re telling me that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you //love// me?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I was pressured then, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but now I mean this.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Rachel, you always <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">say that you didn’t <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">mean it the first time, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but when the second time <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">comes around, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you’ve changed your mind. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re complicated.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m complicated? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That’s how you think of me? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//C o m p l i c a t e d ?//”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I always have. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes, we’re best friends, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but sometimes, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you make it difficult <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to establish that. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re just a mixture <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of feelings that <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">are shown all at once. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re confusing. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re complex. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re hard to please. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re hurtful. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re mean sometimes. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Most times actually. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You take things too literal. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You don’t understand, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but act like you can. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re tough. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re fragile. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re cold. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re harsh. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You don’t know how to love. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re scared to love. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re afraid of what can happen. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You’re afraid to admit it, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but you need someone there with you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">all the time. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel... <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I can’t win with you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What are you saying?” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She said through sobs.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I loved you Rachel.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She winced. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Past tense? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Really? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">//L o v e d ?//”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I choked on the next words. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I //used// to love you.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“What made you change your mind?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Prom night,” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I said coldly.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She bit her lip, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to stop from more tears <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">falling. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I’m sorry.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“There’s nothing to be sorry for. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You made me realize <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that you’re not going <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to love me the way I did. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thirteen years down the drain.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“No! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It can still be salvaged.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Do you think you can <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">resurrect something <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that died three months ago?”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Yes. Just give me a chance.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I did, but you <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">pushed me away. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I tried to make amends. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">What’d you do? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">YOU TURNED IT DOWN!” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My pent up anger began <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">burning in my words. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“I attempted to Rachel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">You ignored me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I did everything for you Rachel. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Never asked anything in return. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I ask from you one little thing, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">yet you can’t even do that. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rachel, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">if you can’t do that, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">then there’s no point in trying.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Xavier.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You know what? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Forget about it! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Forget it.”

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“You know what? <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Fine! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t //want// to be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">your stupid girlfriend <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">anymore! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t //want// to be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">your stupid best friend <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">anymore either! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I don’t //want// to be <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">a friend of yours <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">anymore! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Forget it! <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Take this stupid <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">necklace with you!” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">She ripped off our <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">best friend necklace <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and tossed it toward my face. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">“Don’t even attempt to <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">talk to me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">text me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">call me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">see me, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">or hear about me. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’ll do the same.” <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">With that, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">she turned around <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and stormed off. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When she turned around, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">there was a painful <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">expression on her face. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I knew that look. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It was regret. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then, she remembered <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">what she was here for, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">and her face <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">conjured into something <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">of disgust.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">When she left, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I picked the necklace off the ground. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Not only was the chain broken, <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">but her half of the heart was too.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">11-9-11 __shattered__

I ran all the way back home. I began pulling at my hair. I continued crying. All night. I screamed sometimes. I sat in my bed, with no comfort. None at all. Dad wouldn’t understand. Mom would try to, but she wouldn’t know my predicament.

Mom never understood. She was the perfect child. She didn’t do anything wrong. She was most popular. The first person she dated was Dad. Nothing went wrong in their relationship. It was completely flawless. Mom never had to suffer. She never had to suffer as I do right now.

I wrapped the duvet around me like a cape and actually felt how vulnerable I could be. I didn’t like that feeling. That feeling of being helpless, vulnerable, fragile, open, and anything that can prove Xavier’s statement.

I don’t want to be the fragile girl. I don’t want to be that girl. Never. I need to be strong. I’ll... try to manage without... Xavier. I’ll try.

That’s a difficult feat to overcome because Xavier left me shattered. Shattered to pieces. Pieces of my heart that can’t be found. Pieces of my heart that are lost. Pieces of my heart that will take a whole lot of mending. A whole lot of mending...

11-10-11 __uh-oh__

Amanda left, when I returned. She felt awkward. She had the right to. I told her goodbye. When I closed the door, Zia was standing there. She looked at me shamefully.

I took a piece of paper out of my back pocket. I pulled a pen from that same pocket as well. “What?” I wrote.

“Are you that oblivious to Rachel’s feelings?” She wrote in capitals.

“No. I’m just slow okay?”

“Well your sluggishness caused pain for her. You’re not very good at keeping your promises.”

“What are you talking about?”

Zia pulled on the chain around my neck. She pointed to the heart and released her grip. “Whatever happened to best friends for eternity? Because right now, you’re enemies.”

I instinctively pulled out Rachel’s half. The broken half. The broken pieces. I stared at them.

Zia wrote another message. “Exactly. That’s her heart right there. The one you broke. Obviously, you can’t mend it. You’d have to get her another half. Xavier, why’d you do this to Rachel?”

“I DIDN’T MEAN TO!”

Zia winced as if I yelled at her. Which sort of was true. I //did// write in capitals, after all.

“Look. Sorry Zia. I know things didn’t go to your liking, but that’s the way of life.”

“Not if the love of your life slips right through your fingers.”

“Rachel is not the love of my life.”

“You wish she was.” Zia stared at me with her big, hazel eyes. “You know you wanted her to be with you forever. You know you’re nothing without her.”

“Stop Zia! You saw what happened. You know what happened. You know it’s //never// going to happen. So stop dreaming! I know you want Rachel to be your sister. I know you want us to be together. I know everything you wished, but it’s not going to happen. Just forget it Zia. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!”

Zia’s lip trembled. “Fine! Don’t try to save what could’ve been! You’re the worst brother //and// best friend!” Zia ran upstairs crying.

Uh-oh. That’s not good. I’m in trouble. It’s not like I wasn’t already. I made two girls cry and I made one girl leave. The two hate my guts. The other probably won’t go on a date with me anymore. I just can’t win can I?

I was right, when I said girls were harsh. It’s true. A guy can’t dodge a heartache and a headache. I can’t seem to dodge pain.

You think Rachel’s heart is the only one that’s broken? Think again. Saying all that stuff to her was painful. Saying all those meaningless words not only damaged her, but me also. It does. It really does.

To spit those words of sorrow and pain is just... Just... I don’t know. It’s indescribable.

I wish I could take those words back. But we all know, that once something is said and done, you can’t take it back.

__moving__

I am moving... Moving on. Moving ahead with my life. Moving forward. Since the fight with... him, it’s been six months. Yeah, six painful months. That’s why I’m going to relieve myself of this burden by moving on. Forgetting the past and starting anew.

Fine. I won’t have a best friend to support me, but oh well. That’s the price you pay. With happiness comes sacrifices. Sacrifices that’ll... break your heart, but that’s the price you pay for moving on. Adios Xavier!

I sat back down on my bed. Am I really willing to let go of the thirteen years, or more, that I spent with Xavier? Am I willing to let those thirteen years go to waste? Yes. I got back up and got ready for school.

Mom and Dad went on another business trip, so I was stuck here alone again.

September. Junior year. Wow. Did I really make it through sophomore year?

I just hope him and I don’t have the same schedule again. It would make it difficult to move on. I think I’m making it difficult to move on.

I heard he’s dating Amanda now. I heard that their relationship is strong. I heard he’s happy. I heard he wrote a song for her. I heard many things that pained my shattered heart into oblivion, but I’ll try to forget it. I’ll try to move on. A part of moving on is looking at the past and letting it go. Another part is to forget what happened. The hardest part is accepting it. Accepting it and accepting the person. Will my mind try to move on? Yes. Will my heart ever move on? Never. It’ll always belong to Xavier. Forever and eternity.

__first__

First day of school... again. First day of making an impression. First day of anything. First day of moving on... //completely.//

I thought I moved on once Amanda and I started dating, but I realized that was just to make Rachel get the point. Now, I actually //enjoy// dating Amanda. My mind was saying it was over, but my heart still belonged to Rachel. Now it’s mending and weaving those cracks with a renewed love. For Amanda. I don’t love love her, but I like her.

I drove Amanda to school. She told me what she did when we weren’t hanging out. I listened. She told me how much she missed me. I replied.

I just hope I don’t have to encounter Rachel. I hope we don’t have the same schedules. That’d be awkward. It’d be //really// awkward.

Am I really moving on? If I’m avoiding her, does it mean I moved on? No. It means I’m afraid of something. Something that may happen. //Will// I move on? Yes. Goodbye Rachel. Maybe not forever, but for now. It’s time to take a break.

For the first time, I don’t have a best friend. For the first time, we haven’t been hanging out everyday. For the first time, Rachel’s not here. For the first time, Rachel’s not //with// me. For the first time, I feel empty. Empty inside. Empty in my mind. Empty in my heart.

I may be moving on, but somehow, my heart won’t let go of Rachel. My mind is saying, “You’ve moved on”, but my heart is saying, “You still love her.”

11-11-11 __the meet__

Being the person I am, I decided to eat in the cafeteria. Most people don’t eat there, but I felt too lazy to go somewhere else. Plus, I still haven’t gotten my car fixed. Xavier was my form of transportation. Since he drove off with Amanda, I’m stuck here anyways.

I sat by myself and played with my food, once I was halfway done. I just got sick of eating this, so I got up. I looked to my left and noticed a couple madly in love. It’s not always like that, I thought bitterly. I was still looking in that direction, when someone crashed into me.

That person’s food landed on my leather jacket. I was in shock. I didn’t yell out, but I did conjure up a smile somehow.

“I’m so sorry,” the voice said.

I glanced at him. “It’s okay. It’s my fault. I wasn’t looking. That’s my stupidity in progress.”

“You don’t look stupid.”

I blushed.

“I got soup all over your jacket,” his voice had a tinge of guilt.

“It’s okay. I’ll wipe it off. My shirt and pants are my concern. If they’re not clean, then I’ll have to change.” I look at the guy properly. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “I’ve... never seen you before. Are you new here?”

He rubbed his arm. “Yeah, I’m Adam.” He held his hand out.

“Rachel Rosse.” I made a funny face. “You can just call me Rachel. Don’t know why I had the urge to say my full name.”

“That’s okay. It’s a cool name.” He bent down to pick up the mess we made.

I bent down to help him.

“You don’t have to help me.”

“I’d feel bad if I let you do all nice things. I’d look like a monster just standing there.” I smiled.

He smiled too. “You think I’d take your spotlight huh?”

“No. I think my hair would.” I shook my fiery red ponytail.

“You’re hair reminds me of fire.”

“Yeah. I take pride in that because it’s natural.” We both stood up.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Every strand on my head is real.”

We placed the trays on the counter. “That’s amazing.”

In the corner of my eye, I noticed people waving at Adam. “I see you’ve made some friends. Track team... Swim team... Cheer team?”

“Yeah. I do all of those, except the second option.”

“So you’re part of the track team and the cheer team. Bold move. So how do you know the swim team?”

“My cousin’s on the swim team, so she introduced me to them.”

“Your cousin?” I analyzed Adam thoroughly. “Oh my goodness. You’re Amanda’s cousin, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. That’s me. My mom and dad transferred me here over the summer, after I did... some things at my other school.”

“What kind of... things did you do?” I nudged him lightly.

“Nothing much. I made the wrong chemical reaction, because I was flirting with a girl, and it ended up exploding.”

“I hope you’re not going to do that here. I like this school and I’m warming up to you.”

“So you like me?”

“Now don’t jump the gun just yet. I need to know a little more about you. Besides having the same intention span as me and unintentionally blowing classes up, what is there that I need to know about you?”

“Well, physically, I have dirty blonde hair and sky blue eyes. I have a good build. If you remember, I’m on both the track and cheer team.”

“Wait. If you’re on the track team, then how come I didn’t see you at the summer practices?”

“You didn’t see me, but I saw you. You ignored everyone, so Coach L. just let you be. You kept running laps for about 3-5 hours. Don’t know what got under your skin to make you run for such an extended period of time.”

“Oh, okay. That makes sense.”

“Yeah. I didn’t want to disturb you. By the way, I’ve never seen anybody that fast before.”

I looked towards the ground. “Thanks. Anyways, continue with facts about yourself. You’re still a shifty character.”

“Well okay. I can be sarcastic. I like to take things lightly. I’m not easily offended. I want to be a doctor. Those are some basics that I tell girls.”

“Well tell me something that’s not a daily routine for you.”

“I like you.”

I opened my mouth and closed it. Then I opened it again. “Ha ha. Nice trick, but I’m not fooled. Seriously, tell me something that you’ve never told a girl when you first meet them.”

“Did I tell you that I spilled my food on you intentionally?”

I glared at him. “You got my favorite leather jacket dirty to pull off a stunt?”

“I’m sorry?”

“If you’re in the track team, let’s see how fast you run.”

“You’re not thinking about...” He realized that I was serious and began dashing out the doors.

“Get back here Adam!” I sprinted across the asphalt road and was steadily catching up with Adam.

Adam was pretty fast. It gave me a challenge. I finally caught up with him and tackled him to the ground. “Here’s something about me. My friend’s in the football team and likes to play a little game with me.”

“Good to know. I just hop you didn’t damage anything in my body.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t want to come into school next day, with a cast, saying that I got injured because of a girl tackling me to the ground.”

“I don’t know. It has a nice ring to it. Boy tackled by girl.”

“Well, girl who tackled a boy, please get off of me.”

“Fine.” I got off of Adam and wiped my jeans of grass blades.

“Okay. You see where telling the truth gets me?”

“Yes. In trouble. In a short term relationship. And on the ground. You’ll make a great friend.”

“What?” He asked in disbelief.

“You can take a joke. That’s all it takes to be a friend of mine.”

“Are you some master prankster or something?”

“Second place in this school. First place goes to my friend’s brother, Xavier. He beat me by just a millimeter.”

“Is he older or something?”

“Nope. He’s our age.”

“Then his sister is... I assume it’s a girl.”

“Assumption correct. She’s younger than us.”

“Okay. Everything is all cleared up.”

“Good. I don’t like explaining things twice.”

“You sound so much like me.”

“I don’t look like you, now do I?”

“Nope. Not at all. Way prettier.”

“Ha ha. Stop it. Go run off to your little preppy practice.”

“What do you mean?” A lightbulb went off in his head. “Oh that’s right. There’s practice today.”

“So you better go. I know the coach and she will not tolerate tardies.”

“Well it was nice meeting you Rachel.”

“And a disaster for me.” I smiled. “I’m messing with you. Learn my sarcasm from my truths. If you’re going to last long. learn the difference quickly.”

“Will do.” He smiled and dashed off.

I thought to myself, maybe I can find another best friend. Maybe to replace Xavier. Maybe... Just maybe...

__seriously?__

I witnessed Rachel tackling a blond boy. I don’t know why.

Amanda and I were eating lunch in my car. While Amanda was gorging down, which I liked about her, I watched what was happening outside. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of red hair, so I continued watching. It was Rachel. I was glued onto this scene like my dad on Sunday football.

Rachel was chasing this blond boy I’ve never seen. Although he resembled Amanda greatly. Soon enough, Rachel caught up to him and tackled him to the ground. I smirked because I knew that Rachel would’ve got him eventually. I stared at them very carefully.

Amanda noticed who I was staring at. “That’s my cousin. I forgot to introduce you to him.”

“Okay... I thought he was related to you. I knew he couldn’t be your brother because you don’t have a brother. You guys look similar.”

“Very.”

“That answers all my questions.” I kept silent and ate my food.

“Looks like Rachel is enjoying his company.”

I avert my attention from my food to the window. Amanda was right. Rachel was laughing and smiling. “Looks like she’s finally moved on. It’s for the better.”

“You know, to move on, you need to accept you mistakes //and// the people. You may not love Rachel. You may still love her, but if you want to move on, you have to accept her. You can still be her best friend. You can still narrow the gap between you guys. Xavier, listen to me. Rachel is your best friend. Do you really want to lose her?”

“Seriously? Is everyone turned against me?”

Amanda gripped my shoulder lightly. “Xavier, I’m not against you. I’m telling you that you only have one best friend, and that’s not me. It’s Rachel. A step in moving on is to accept others. You need to accept Rachel and be the mature one. Be friends again and fill this awkward gap. You may see each other at school, but you guys act like you’re at different ends of the world. It has to stop Xavier. Do you really want to regret everything when you’re older? Do you //really// want to never talk to Rachel again? Is that what you want?”

“No,” I murmured.

“Then fix this. Fix everything.” With that, Amanda opened the car door and left.

I risked a glance up and saw Rachel watching me intently. When she noticed I was looking, she ran away.

I drove home and went up the stairs. I slammed my bedroom door and kicked the footboard. Tears trickled down my face.

What am I going to do? What am I //supposed// to do?

First Dad. Then Mom. Then Zia. Now Amanda? They’re all telling me to forgive Rachel. Really? Even my //girlfriend,// who never really liked Rachel, is telling me to //f o r g i v e// her? Seriously?

How am I supposed to forgive her, if she keeps avoiding me? How?

It’s almost been a year and she’s never attempted to try and talk to me.

I don’t think she wants to confront me. I don’t think she wants to fix this. I think she wants to move on //without// me in the picture.

I’m perfectly fine with that. Actually, I’m not. I’m not okay with it. I’m just not...

__fall back__

Being the person I am, I volunteered to hang up posters. I went around, all over the school. Hanging up posters that reminded students that prom was two months away. It was absurd. Then again, our school is doing a pageant now, for both girls and boys, for the positions of prom king and queen. Oh joy.

Ever since last year’s incident, the school is trying to avoid that. I’m glad I’m not going to run. I never planned to run.

Anyways, I began hanging up the large one in the middle of the hall. It had to be raised up high, so I needed to use a step ladder. I was about to staple the right side when someone knocked the ladder. I began losing my footing. I fell back.

When I expected to hit the ground, I was suspended in the air. I opened my eyes slowly. I saw the familiar blond hair.

“Got’ cha.”

I widened my eyes. This couldn’t be happening again. I dropped the stapler and ran out of the hallway. When I turned my head back, I saw a shocked Adam, and somewhere behind him, Xavier.

I whipped my head forward and kept running.

I don’t want this happening again. I don’t want another heartache. I don’t want to hurt another person. I don’t want Adam to be hurt. I just don’t...

__deja vu__

I saw Rachel fall towards the ground, but luckily, Amanda’s cousin, saved her.

When I saw this, it pained my heart. This was how I got Rachel to go to prom with me.

I heard him say, “Got’ cha.”

Water welled up in my eyes, but I refrained from letting them fall. This can’t be happening again.

When Rachel recovered from her shock, she dashed out of the scene. I didn’t dare call out for her. It would draw attention to myself, and it would hurt.

Deja vu. The only thing different was Rachel ran away.

What would’ve happened, if that person that saved her was me? What if it was me? Would things have been different? Would Rachel have ran away? I’ll never know. I will //never// know...

11-13-11 __avoiding... somewhat__

I attempted to avoid Adam for the next few days. Knowing myself, I can never pull a stunt like that. It’s difficult.

1)Adam has the same schedule as me.

2)He’s everywhere I go.

This year is really awkward. Xavier has the same schedule as me as well. Both of them. They keep stealing quick glances of concern at me. It makes me uncomfortable.

After French class, Adam pulled me to the side. “Why’d you run away yesterday?”

“I’m sorry. It just reminded me too much about something that happened last year.”

“What happened last year?”

I looked down at my shoes.

“Sorry. Touchy subject I see.”

“It’s fine. I’ve forgotten that it ever happened.”

“That’s not really a way to face the problem.”

“I’ve moved on. I know I have.”

“I’ve heard things. I think I know what’s going on. This is about Xavier.”

My head shot up.

“Yep. It is about him. Okay. I’ve been told what’s happened. If you really want to move on, you need to forgive him.”

“Why do I need to do that?”

“Well, you can’t have a sense of closure without facing the problem. If you don’t face it, you’ll be living in either regret or a gnawing guilt.”

“Okay, Dr. Phil, but it’s not as easy as counting.”

“It actually is, but you’re just afraid.”

I pushed Adam. “Take that back.”

“No. I’m not. It’s the truth, isn’t it? You’re afraid of what’s going to happen. You’re afraid of the outcome. You’re scared that he won’t accept you. You’re terrified of humiliating yourself. You’re mortified that he won’t love you.”

I pushed him harder. “Take it all back.”

Adam snorted. “You see? You’re in denial. You’re avoiding your real fear.”

“Stop it! Stop it right now! I’ve moved on! I know I have!”

“No you haven’t,” a voice said, right behind me. “You still can’t face me.”

I turned around to see Xavier. “I can. I am right now.”

“Then go ahead. Prove to me that you’ve moved on.”

“Everyone’s against me.”

“We’re not against you. We’re trying to help you.”

“How?”

“You need to move on,” Xavier goaded.

Adam stirred. I assumed he felt uncomfortable. “I’m just going to leave you two to figure this out.” With that, he ran faster than he did last week. That liar.

“Go ahead. Tell me.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. “You want to hear the truth?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Here goes nothing.”

11-14-11 __speak now__

“Go ahead. Speak now.”

I choked on the next words, not really. “I miss last year.” I locked eyes with him. “I miss the old days. I miss my best friend. I miss you, I really do.” I lowered myself onto the floor. “Without you, my days felt empty. My mind felt empty. My heart felt empty.” I craned my neck upward towards where Xavier stood. “I realized //why// we’re best friends. We complete each other. That’s why we had that necklace made.”

“Speaking of necklaces,” Xavier dug into his pocket, “the night you threw this,” he pulled out the necklace, “it not only broke the chain, but the heart itself as well.”

“Really? I did //that?//”

“Don’t act surprised. Lucky enough, I took it to get repaired.”

“How much?”

“How much what?”

“Did it cost you?”

“Yes.”

“How much?”

“Quite a lot actually.”

Rachel face palmed herself. “What was the price?” She asked exasperated.

“Well let me tell you. They are not kind with the prices when you get something repaired after sixteen some years.”

“Just tell me!”

“About one thousand and eighty dollars.”

Rachel’s eyes grew wide as if she was a deer in headlights. “I owe you enough already.” She began digging into her purse. “Here.” She held out a large wad of cash.

“What’s this?”

“I was just going to give you this via Zia.” Rachel chuckled. “That rhymes. Anyways, that’s three quarters of what I’ve owed you the past sixteen years of my life. Which is my whole life.”

“Three quarters?”

“Yep. But now I’m back to square one. Thanks.”

I laughed. “Look. Rachel, we’re //best friends.// I don’t expect you to repay me. I never did.”

“Whatever. You’ve done enough. So no more gifts! I’ve been working my butt off just to make that. Be grateful I even kept track!”

“Be grateful I’m giving this back to you.” I came behind Rachel and hooked the necklace back on. “Be grateful that I kept mine on the whole time.”

She snorted. “Why would you? There’s not a hook on it.” She covered her mouth.

“What?”

“Nothing...”

“Speak up. Spit it. Spill it.”

“Your mom told me this, just a warning.” She exhaled greatly. “Okay. So when we were born, which by the way, it’s almost your birthday. Anyways, your mom and dad assumed that you might take the necklace off, so they didn’t have a latch on it so you couldn’t remove it. Which you never did. Then when you were little, they told you scary stories about the necklace, and that if you removed it, you’d be chased by monsters. Your disadvantage was that your dad is a journalist and your mom writes scary short stories. Sorry off topic. So that began to be an incentive for you to //not// take the necklace off.”

“Well I never took it off.”

“Because you’re afraid of the big monsters that will come to get you.” She pouted. “Xavier is a scaredy cat,” she said in a childish tone.

“Rachel, don’t be juvenile...”

“Xavier scared of monsters. They’ll come from under his bed. In the closet. Outside the window.” She began running around me, with arms spread out like an airplane, spitting every insult she can.

“That’s the old Rachel.”

She skidded to a stop. “Old Rachel? Whoever said I changed?”

“I did.”

“No I didn’t!” She stomped her foot.

“Now who’s acting juvenile?”

“Still you.” She knew that would get me fired up, so she began running. Rachel laughed hysterically, as I was chasing her. “Now //that’s// the old you!”

11-16-11 __i have a date?__

I was in a happier mood the whole week. I began socializing again. Me. Of all people. It’s crazy, but people think I’m actually popular. What a joke!

Anyways, Adam and I began hanging out more. Xavier and I began hanging out way more. I’ve gotten along with Amanda real well. In fact, she’s my friend now. Shocker?

Adam walked with me to my car, which I finally got fixed. I spoke up first. “You liar.”

“What?”

“You lied to me the first day we met.”

“About what?”

“You’re faster than you think.”

“And you’re slower at grasping concepts.”

“What are you—?”

He raised his eyebrows as I realized what he meant. “No I’m not! I am the best liar in this school.”

“Prove it.”

I stared at him thoughtfully. I gave my sweetest smile and then bit my lip. “You know you look great today?” He actually did. Skinny jeans, t-shirt, and all.

I noticed him blush. “Uh... really?” His voice cracked.

“Heck yeah.” I inched closer to him. I began twisting my finger in my hair. “Your hair looks real nice too.” I inched even closer.

“Um...”

I noticed Adam beginning to quiver. I smiled maliciously. “Got’ cha.”

His face twisted into something like confusion. “What the heck just happened?”

“I used my feminine charm to prank you.”

“Fake flirting huh?”

“Yeah.” I punched his arm lightly.

“Or did you mean it?” He countered.

“What?”

“Did you mean it? Did you actually think I look great? Did you actually think that my hair is great?”

“It was a joke,” I said.

“Well why don’t you tell me all of your tricks over a walk in the park?”

“Why would I tell you—?” I looked at him questioningly. “You’re joking right?”

Adam winked and jogged down the road.

“Adam! Adam, get back here!” As I called out for him, he quickened his pace. I got in my car and started the engine. Instead of being an idiot and chasing him, I decided to drive to his house instead and wait for him there.

I got out of my car and leaned against the door. I noticed Adam walking down the street nonchalantly. I began sprinting toward him. He discovered that it was me and began running as well. “Running will get you nowhere! I tackled you the first time. I’m more than happy to tackle you a second.” With that, he slowed his pace.

“Why are you out to get me?”

“I just want to know something.”

“What is that?”

“What time am I supposed to meet you at the park?”

“Four o’clock. I don’t like going there when it’s dark.”

“Okay. See ya then.” I turned around, with my hands in my pockets, and walked to my car with a smile. I have a date. I have a date with Adam... I have a date? I have a date!

__you’re kidding right?__

I was hanging out with Amanda today. I couldn’t find Rachel, and Amanda said she wanted to hang out with me today. We were sitting on a bench, hand in hand.

“Things between Rachel and I are getting better.”

“That’s great.”

“You two are getting along great as well.”

“Better. We’re best friends, but not as much as you and her.”

I smiled. “No one can be.”

Amanda nudged me gently. “Of course. Which leads me up to the next subject.”

I stared at her. “What are you talking about?”

She locked eyes with me. “I think we should break up.”

“You’re kidding right?”

Amanda’s eyes held no pain, but concern. “I’m not joking. It’s not you. It’s not Rachel. It’s me. I’m the obstruction.”

“The obstruction to what?”

“Your relationship with Rachel. Look. You’re a great guy, but not //my// guy. You’re Rachel’s guy. It’s obvious that you love her. It’s obvious you still do. Thanks for at least trying with me. Thanks, but you should be with Rachel.”

“I thought you enjoyed being with me?”

“I do, but I feel that you still love Rachel. It’s time that I let you go.” Her eyes were watery.

“But you don’t want to,” I concluded.

“Well sort of, but not really. You belong with Rachel. No matter if I liked you. You belong with **//her//**.”

“But Amanda...”

“No exceptions.” Her phone began to ring. She pulled it out and checked her text. Amanda’s eyes widened. “He didn’t...”

“What?” I attempted to inch closer to Amanda, but she wouldn’t let me see. “What did this guy do?”

“Nothing.” She smiled.

“Amanda, I know you. That’s the most plastic smile I’ve ever seen.”

She sighed, admitting defeat. “It’s my cousin.”

“What did Adam do?”

“He asked Rachel out on a date.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“No. And Rachel said yes.”

11-18-11 __the park__

Adam met up with me at the corner of my street. We walked the two miles to the park. We learned different things about each other that we never knew before.

I shivered.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just forgot my jacket.”

“Here. Take my sweatshirt.”

“No. I saw you today only wearing a t-shirt. Keep it. I’ll just pull the sleeves of my shirt.” I pulled the long sleeves over my hands.

“Why don’t I just do this?” Adam wrapped his arms around me.

My response was placing my head on his shoulder. Also, I stopped quaking.

“Much better right?”

“Whatever you say.”

We stopped and sat on the bench under a tree.

I began to nod off, until I was woken up by my head bobbing. My eyes had to adjust. I turned my head backwards to realize that I was being carried somewhere. I realized it was Adam who was carrying me. “Where are we going?”

“Well, I’m taking you home. You fell asleep. It’s hard to gaze at the stars, with you snoring.”

“I don’t snore. Now put me down.”

“Whatever you say.”

I shivered. “Did it get colder?”

“Yes, but you’re already wearing a sweatshirt.”

I looked down to notice Adam’s sweatshirt on me. “I told you to keep it.”

“Too bad. You were shaking more than my chihuahua.”

I smiled. “Fine. Now I owe you. Come over to my house, and I’ll make you hot chocolate or coffee. Whichever you prefer.”

“Hot chocolate.”

“Good. I don’t have any coffee grounds.”

We got back to my house. I called to my mom. She was home, but Dad was still in New York.

I dashed into the kitchen. I began melting chocolate on the stove.

I gave Adam his mug, and I held the other one. We made light chat. I noticed him staring at me the whole time. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

“You look beautiful.”

I looked down. This is dangerous. This is just like last year. Please don’t... Please don’t try to...

Adam inched closer to me. The closer he got, the less afraid I became. I actually began inching closer too. We were a hair’s breadth away. I closed the gap. Sparks flew. Wow. His mouth was warm and tender. When we parted, I saw movement at the corner of my eye.

11-19-11 __not again__

I ran out as fast as I could. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be happening. Not again. This was just like last year. This exact date. This exact time.

I caught Rachel with Adam. Last year, she caught me with Amanda.

I dashed out. Last year, Rachel dashed out.

I felt the pain. Last year, Rachel felt the pain.

This couldn’t be happening. There’s one flaw though. I chased after Rachel. This time, Rachel’s not coming for me. She didn’t seem to notice me leave. I wished she did.

I thought she loved me. I know I still do. This couldn’t... This //shouldn’t// be happening. Memories of last year flooded back to me.

//“Rachel, you always// //say that you didn’t// //mean it the first time,// //but when the second time// //comes around,// //you’ve changed your mind.// //You’re complicated.”//

//“I’m complicated?// //That’s how you think of me?// C o m p l i c a t e d ?//”//

Tears began streaming down my face, as I kept running.

//“Yes.// //I// used //to love you.”//

Rain began falling down my face, concealing the tears.

//“You know what?// //Forget about it!// //Forget it.”//

“//...I don’t// want //to be// //your stupid girlfriend// //anymore!// //I don’t// want //to be// //your stupid best friend// //anymore either!// //I don’t// want //to be// //a friend of yours// //anymore!”//

I tripped over my foot and fell to the ground. I didn’t care if I was injured. I didn’t care at this point. Nothing can mend this. Nothing can mend my broken heart.

Not again. Not again... But she didn’t come for me. If she didn’t come, does it mean that it’s over? Does it mean she completely moved on? But I didn’t. I didn’t move on. I just acted like I did. Fate... don’t do this to me.

Could I have one more chance? Just one? One more. To make things right. This time, I won’t let Rachel slip between my fingers. Not this time. Not ever. Not again.

11-21-11 __replay__

I went to the park, after school on Monday. Just me. No one else. Not Adam. Not Amanda. Not Xavier. Just me.

I began walking toward the bridge, when I saw someone. I squinted my eyes, and noticed that it was Xavier.

My back automatically stiffened. I began walking towards him at a brisk pace. He noticed me and started running the other way.

“Xavier! Xavier, come back! You know I’ll get you eventually!”

He stopped abruptly, and I bumped into him.

“Why aren’t you talking to me?”

“Who said I wasn’t?”

“Well, you’re avoiding me.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re not facing me.” I sidestepped to glance at him, but he turned himself. “Come on.” I pulled on his shoulder and I shuddered when I saw him.

He had a bandage on the right side of his forehead. He had a bandage, also, on his right cheek. Then, he had gauze wrapped around his right arm.

“What happened?”

“I got bullied.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He sighed. “I fell on the pavement. More specifically, the asphalt road.”

“Did someone try to run you over?”

“No!”

“Okay. I’m just concerned.”

“Are you now?”

“Xavier, I’ve always been concerned for you.”

“Really?”

“Xavier, what’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing.”

“I know that tone Xavier. You’re hiding something. Is it about Amanda?”

“IT’S NOT ABOUT HER!” He screamed.

“Then what is it about?”

“Nothing! I’m fine!”

“No you’re not. If you’re reckless enough to fall on the road, then you’re not fine.”

“I WASN’T RECKLESS!”

I looked at him. “Calm down. There are other people in this park. Especially minors.”

“Oh, now you’re embarrassed?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, but you were thinking it.”

“I wasn’t thinking about that at all. I’m thinking ‘Why is my best friend acting strange?’”

“So I’m your best friend still?”

“Xavier, you always have. Even between that one year. Always have been. Always will.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure. Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t know,” he added bitterly.

“What are you talking about? What’s all this rubbish?”

“It’s trash? To you it’s trash, but to me, it’s pain.”

“Xavier, clarify on this situation. Please.”

“Do you really need an explanation? Are you that oblivious?”

“Okay. You can explain without the names.”

“Well I can put a name on you. It’s liar.”

“Xavier, you’re being bizarre.”

“I thought you didn’t like him?” He spat out.

My face contorted into confusion. When the pieces clicked together, I had a flash back.

//“I thought you didn’t// //like Amanda.”//

“Whoa. Wait. Were you there...”

The tears streaming down his face confirmed my assumption.

“Xavier...”

“Don’t ‘Xavier’ me.” He backed away from me, as if I was an alien. “You know I never forgot about you. I never did.”

“What are you saying?”

Another flash. //“Xavier, I love you.”//

“I still love you Rachel.”

Tears began falling.

“I love you. I always have. Always will.”

I fell to the ground, as the world around me began to spin. I clutched my heart as it screamed in pain. “I used to love you,” I whispered.

“What?”

“I said I used to love you.”

“Used to?”

“Yes. //Used// to. Just like //you// did. I moved on. Just like //you// said.”

“I meant from prom night!”

This took me by surprise.

“I only meant prom night...”

Anger welled up inside me. “YOU SHOULD BE MORE CLEAR NEXT TIME!”

“Will there be a next time?”

I began sobbing. “Isn’t it a little too late Xavier? Isn’t it?”

That knocked the wind out of him.

I turned around.

“Then I don’t deserve this.” He pulled his necklace out and threw it in the pond. When he heard the plop, he ran away.

“Xavier! Xavier, where are you going?”

“Wherever you’re not! I don’t deserve to see you. I don’t deserve to be in the presence of you,” he yelled.

I placed my head in my hands. What have I done? What have I done again?

11-22-11 __disappointment__

I ran. That’s what I remembered. I ran. I kept running. I only slowed down when I realized what I was doing.

Zia was right. I //did// lose Rachel and it was //my// fault. Did I really just do that?

My phone vibrated. It was a message from Zia.

“I told you so.”

I stared at the text. How’d she know? My phone vibrated again.

“I am the knowing. I know what you did. You disappoint me Xavier. You certainly don’t know how to express your feelings in a gentle matter.”

I didn’t even get to reply before another text came.

“Xavier, do you think she’ll still love you at this point? Do you think that even if she’s dating Adam, she could’ve changed her mind? Do you?”

“You know what Zia? I lost her a long time ago. There’s no point in trying. She’s moved on.”

“That’s your fault, Captain Idiot. You said you //loved// her, not //love.//”

“Is it really? Is it //really// my fault that she didn’t want me at the time?”

“Yes. Yes it is.”

I got frustrated with Zia, so I threw my phone into the open. I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything at this point. I kept running. I //am// a disappointment. I really am.

I kept running until I got tired. That was about... 20 miles later.

I fell to my knees and passed out.

11-24-11 __contradiction__

I began walking home, with my hands in my pockets. I got a call. Zia. I knew that this couldn’t be right, so I answered immediately.

“Hello?”

“Rachel? This is Mrs. Miller.”

“What’s wrong? Why are you using Zia’s phone?”

“I thought you would answer quicker. Anyways, this is urgent. Have you seen Xavier?”

“Yeah, but that was three hours ago,” I said, in a nasal tone.

“Have you been crying?”

“It doesn’t matter. Why do you ask? He’s not at home yet?”

“No. I’m worried. He’s not answering his phone.”

“I’m sorry. Last thing I know is that he ran away.”

“WHAT?”

I sobbed. “We got in a big fight and he just ran. I don’t know what happened next. Ask Zia.”

“She said that she was talking to him about half an hour after you.”

“This is my fault.”

“No it’s not. I don’t know what’s Xavier’s problem.”

“It’s because of me. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have said those things.” I began talking to myself aloud. I bit my lip.

This was a contradiction on what Xavier and I established. To heck with that. He’s gone right now. Literally. He could be gone forever. He may have disappeared. I decided quickly. “Call my parents. Tell them the situation. I’m on my way to your house right now. Call Xavier’s friends. He keeps their phone numbers in his room. Call Amanda. She may know. Don’t call the police yet. He may have just taken a walk.”

“Okay.”

“Okay. I’ll be there as fast as I can.” I hung up immediately and ran faster than I ever have for a track meet.

I rang the doorbell about five minutes later. That’s pretty good, since their house is two miles away from the park. I gasped. “Got here... as fast... as I could.”

“Come in Rachel,” Mrs. Miller opened the door wide enough for me to enter. “Get a drink of water. You must be exhausted.”

I rejected the offer. I turned to Zia and asked her many questions.

She just shook her head. She seriously didn’t know.

“Well, although Xavier isn’t in track, his stamina is powerful. He could last longer than me in a prolonged race. He can, at least, run for about another twenty miles.”

“That’s your guess?” Mrs. Miller inquired.

“Yes, but the problem is I don’t know what direction he would take. He doesn’t like being straightforward, but he enjoys leaving a mind bender.” I thought for another minute. “My guess is that he ran until he couldn’t anymore. He was hurt. A lot. I’m guessing when he told me that he wanted to get away from me,” —I choked on the next words— “that he literally meant it.”

“What was this fight even about?”

I told Mrs. Miller everything. I went as far back as prom night again. Everything. Every little detail. Everything that I could remember. Everything. There were no statements, retorts, inquiries. Just a look of concern.

“Rachel, this whole thing is a misunderstanding. A miscommunication. There’s nothing wrong in the problems, because those happen to teens all the time. The problem is you guys. You misinterpret everything the other one says or does.”

“Is that a sign?”

“Yes. It’s telling you guys to be attentive listeners because you guys just can’t do that.”

“You’re kidding right? All this time, I thought it was the problems that created a gap between Xavier and I.”

“Nope. It’s not those. It’s you two.”

The doorbell rang. I rose from the chair and answered the door. It was Adam.

“I want to help,” he said, panting as if he came from a long journey.

__headlights__

I opened my eyes to notice that it was dark outside. I didn’t know where I was, and I didn’t know how I came to be here. All I know is that I ran here because my legs were killing me now.

I rummaged through my pockets, but I couldn’t find my phone. Guess I lost it or I chucked it into the unknown. I attempted to pull a chain from my neck, but it wasn’t there. Guess I lost it or I chucked it into the unknown.

I couldn’t get up, so I crawled in the general direction I came from. This didn’t turn out very well because I was on the concrete sidewalk. I pulled myself to the nearest patch of grass and began crawling again. Technically, it was mostly me using my arms to pull me forward, instead of crawling. I continued on my journey back home. The memories of the past events today came back to me like a river flow.

It was stupid of me to throw my phone. It was stupid of me to overreact like that. It was stupid of me to chuck my necklace into the pond. It was stupid of me to run 20 miles in no certain direction. It was stupid of me to yell at Zia like that through text. It was stupid of me to let Rachel slip through my hands like that. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I’ll find a way to make amends. It may take years, but I don’t care. I’ll try.

I kept “crawling” for another hours or so. I didn’t know where to go, but I continued to “crawl”. I stopped when I saw bright headlights glaring at me.

__i want you back__

“How’d you know he disappeared?” I asked incredulously.

“I’m one of Xavier’s friends. You should know that.”

“Then come in.”

“I sent texts to all Xavier’s friends and they said they haven’t seen him.”

I looked at him in alarm. “What’d you say to them?”

“Just if they’ve seen him lately.”

I sighed out a relief.

“Calm down. We’ll find him.”

“I’m worried.”

“Well here’s something to forget your troubles.” He handed me a small box. “A little bird told me that it was your birthday today.”

“It’s also Xavier’s birthday,” I murmured. I opened the box to see another necklace. I began to cry. “You know what I want for my birthday, Adam? I want my best friend back. I want him here.”

“He’s only been gone for about four hours, give or take more.”

“But what if really ran away? Then what?”

Adam took a deep breath. “I have a feeling that you’re not over Xavier.”

“I am. I truly am. Why do you think I’m dating you?”

“To relieve yourself of pain. Yes, you may like me, but not to the extent of how much I like you. I think it’s time for me to let you go. I think it’s time for us to break up.”

“Adam, you know I like you.”

“That’s the key word: like. It’s not love.”

“But Adam...”

“I understand your predicament. You know you love Xavier. I know you do. You never let go of him. It’s time that you get him back.”

I looked at him in confusion. “But I don’t want things to get awkward between us. I still need you as a friend. Before you came to this school, I was the fastest in the team. Now you showed up, and I have some stiff competition now.”

“You still need me?”

“Yes.” I gave him a hug. “Together we’ll find him.”

11-25-11 __search and rescue?__

I placed my hand in front of my eyes to keep the light from getting in my eyes. I coughed.

A person got out of the car. A girl. Amanda?

“What do you want?”

“To take you home Xavier.” It was definitely Amanda. “Everyone is worried about you. Why would you do something so irresponsible?”

I smirked. “Love can make you do crazy things.”

“Oh Xavier.” Amanda took a seat next to me in the grass. “Yes it can, but sometimes, you need to know how your actions affect others. Your mother is worried sick. Your father is on the brink of calling the police. Zia is disappointed in you. I’m scouring the perimeters for you. Adam began a search party. Your friends are concerned. Rachel is crying on the floor for you to come back.”

“Rachel?”

She nodded.

“What does Rachel want with me?”

“She wants to know that you’re safe at home. She’s blaming herself for you running away. Rachel is at your house, right now, heartbroken.”

“Did Adam dump her?”

“Yes, but that’s because of you. He knew about her affections for you, just like I did.”

“Rachel //loves// me?”

“She always has. Always will.”

“What a hypocrite!”

“She’s not a hypocrite. You guys just have... miscommunications.” She tapped on my ear. “Work on your listening skills. Don’t overreact. Don’t misinterpret.”

“This is making no sense whatsoever.”

“Love never made sense, yet we follow it anyways.”

“If she //really// wants me to come back, why is it that I’m talking to //you,// instead of her? No offense.”

“Her car broke. That car is really nice, but for some odd reason, it keeps breaking down. You don’t suppose you have anything to do with that Xavier?”

My cheeks burned. I’m glad it was dark. “Maybe...”

“Xavier, what’d you do?”

“Nothing major. Just unscrewed some bolts under the hood so I’d have an excuse to drive her.”

Amanda smiled. “You sly, sly puppy.” She got up. “Come on. Don’t you think it’s time to go home?”

“Yeah. I think it is.”

__retrieved__

I fell asleep on the couch. I was awake when I heard Adam saying something to Mrs. Miller that made her yell in joy. I opened my eyes.

“Good you’re awake. I got some good news. Amanda found Xavier, and now she’s bringing him back.”

When I processed what Adam just said, I began to cry.

“I thought you wanted Xavier to come back?”

“I do. That’s why I’m crying,” I explained.

Zia cam over and gave me a hug. She gestured to me, “I hope, that when Xavier comes back, that he’ll get it right this time.”

I gestured to her. “What do you mean?”

“That he won’t lose you. That he’ll snatch you right back up. That everything will be alright between you two.”

“You know that it takes time to mend our relationship. And a broken heart.”

“But it’s you and Xavier. You guys could never be angry at each other for very long.”

“That may be true, but you’re only thirteen. You wouldn’t understand,” Adam gestured to Zia.

I turned to him. “You know sign language?”

He nodded and smiled mischievously. “Surprise!”

I slapped his arm. The doorbell rang. All of our heads turned toward it, but no one dared answer it. Zia ran to the door and opened it ever so slowly.

Two arms grabbed her, picked her up, and spun her. It was Xavier. When he placed her back down, his eyes locked with mine.

“I’m just going to return this necklace before the store closes.” With that Adam left with Amanda.

I walked towards Xavier. I fell to my knees and sobbed at his feet. “I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry about? Now I’m completely over you. Thanks.” He stomped up the stairs and enclosed himself in his bedroom.

I just stayed there. On the floor. Huddled in fetal position. Crying.

__crumpled__

The next day, I had a million pieces of paper crumpled, thrown across the floor, and neglected. It was a sea that I was bound to drown in.

Within those crumpled morsels, there were lyrics. Lyrics that didn’t fit into the message I wanted to send. I tried working out everything. From the lyrics, all the way to the beat. The rendition I wanted to play on my guitar. (Yes, I play guitar.)

What kind of lyrics you may ask? Love lyrics.

I’m not angry. Nor sad. Nor depressed. Nor happy. I’m in love. I’ve always have. Always will.

I don’t know what came over me yesterday. I’m going to try to make it up to Rachel. It’s time to confess. I’ve been writing since seven A.M. That’s long because it’s already 2 P.M.

I analyzed all the crumpled papers. Some of them had some good lyrics. The problem was that they were scattered all over and had different tempos.

Then it hit me. I began scribbling away. Me in this sea of crumpled thoughts. Me in my messed up sea. Me in my conflicted feelings.

__scavenger__

I pulled myself out of my trance and noticed that I was home. My home. There was a note attached to my alarm clock.

Rachel, I felt sorry for you because you were on the floor. I decided to take you home. Don’t worry, I didn’t vandalize anything. I hope you can forgive me. ~Xavier

I warmed up to the idea that Xavier didn’t mean what he said last night. I decided to return him the favor.

I walked, since my car broke down again, to the park. I gazed at the pond for quite some time because the necklace could be anywhere.

I planted my feet in the cold pond water. I closed my eyes and dug through the water in disgust. I slowly walked around the perimeter to make sure that I didn’t stir the water too much.

I felt something hard under my sneaker. I assumed it was the necklace, but it definitely wasn’t. I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t plan on discovering what it was.

Wading in the pond was perfectly normal. It’s just not normal this time of year.

I foraged through the pond for another hour. I was at the brink of giving up. I climbed out of the pond and noticed something shining on the bank. I crawled towards it. It was the necklace.

Are you kidding me? I didn’t have to go into that disgusting pond? Really? Fate, what have I done? Karma, what have I done to you?

I picked the necklace up and ran home. I pulled my sneakers off on the front porch and I barged in. I washed the necklace and put on my boots. I dashed out of the house and sprinted all the way to Xavier’s.

I pulled the string and Zia came to the door immediately. I gestured to her, “Give this to your brother.” I handed her the necklace and left without another word.

__received__

I almost got all the lyrics done, when there was a knock on the door. Zia came in.

She walked towards me and placed something on the desk with a clang.

When she left, I noticed it was the necklace.

I smiled. Only one person would waste their time to retrieve this. Rachel.

__comprehension__

I sat in my bed, wrapped in my purple duvet. I stared at the wall. I finally understood. I recalled something I said a long time ago.

“ A key component in a relationship is that they understand you. If they don’t, then the relationship is weak and there can be no trust between each other.”

I never realized that Xavier and I never understood each other enough. I thought we did, but, obviously, we didn’t. I finally comprehended it.

There’s always going to be bumps in the road. There’s always going to be problems. The way to overcome those is to be honest and open. You can’t hide forever. One day, it’ll all come pouring out. You need to communicate with the person.

I obviously learned the hard way.

I reminisced on something I thought about.

“If we never comprehended each other, our relationship as best friends wouldn’t work. Heck, it wouldn’t even exist!”

I smirked at this thought. We never reached a complete understanding, and look at where we are now?

I want to renovate our relationship. I want to build it back up from the foundation that was left. I want to mend it with stronger mortar because I finally understand. I finally comprehend.

11-26-11 __singing again__

I took a deep breath. It’s been quite awhile since I’ve sang. I don’t know if I’m going to be good or not. Mom says I’m good, but that’s mom. Amanda says I have a talent. Adam says I sound great. I’ll take Adam’s word for it.

I walked down the street with my guitar case in one hand and a paper airplane in the other. I stopped in front of Rachel’s house. She was home alone. Again. Her parents were never there. Never mind.

I tossed the plane into the open window. I made sure that this plane could fly long distances. The lyrics were on the sheet. It landed in front of her, where she was sitting near her desk. She looked out the window and locked eyes with me.

I smiled and waved. I opened the case and I began to sing.

“//I’m trying to find the words to say to you.// //But most days we could never pull through.// //I’ve been tongue tied these past few weeks.// //But I get confident when you’re pressed against my cheek.// //And I’ve been trying// //To stop from crying.// //Oh I can’t deny my feelings for you.// //I hope you know I’m trying to say to you:// //I love the way that you talk back.// //Do you know you give me heart attacks?// //I love the way that you’re not afraid.// //Don’t change your eyes ‘cause they’re the perfect shade.// //I love the way you try to hide.// //How you try to keep all your secrets inside.// //But baby, even if you ever change.// //I’ll still love you the same.// //We’ve had our miscommunications.// //Sometimes I’d yell at you out of frustration.// //I’m so sorry for all that I’ve done.// //Because of me, you left me all alone.// //And I’ve been trying// //To stop from crying.// //Oh I can’t deny my feelings for you.// //I hope you know I’m trying to say to you:// //I love the way that you talk back.// //Do you know you give me heart attacks?// //I love the way that you’re not afraid.// //Don’t change your eyes ‘cause they’re the perfect shade.// //I love the way you try to hide.// //How you try to keep all your secrets inside.// //But baby, even if you ever change.// //I’ll still love you the same.// //I hope you can forgive me.// //I’ll understand if you’ll reject me.// //Just think about it.// //I still love you and I still did then// //And I’ve been trying// //To stop from crying.// //Oh I can’t deny my feelings for you.// //I hope you know I’m trying to say to you:// //I love the way that you talk back.// //Do you know you give me heart attacks?// //I love the way that you’re not afraid.// //Don’t change your eyes ‘cause they’re the perfect shade.// //I love the way you try to hide.// //How you try to keep all your secrets inside.// //But baby, even if you ever change.// //I’ll still love you the same.”//

When I opened my eyes, because I was so into pouring my heart out, I noticed that Rachel wasn’t there anymore. I should’ve known she would’ve left.

Someone tapped my shoulder, but I was too grumpy to turn around. “That’s a beautiful song.”

“Yeah, thanks. It was meant for Rachel, but she’s not there.” I stood there for a minute. The voice sounded rather familiar. I turned around to see a smiling Rachel. “I thought you left.”

“I did leave, so I could speak to you in person. I’m not very good at throwing papers planes.”

“I’ve seen that before.”

She pushed me lightly. “You’re mean to me.”

“Since you’re talking to me, I can assume you forgave me.”

“Hmmm?” She placed a finger on her chin. Rachel began swinging her necklace. “I don’t know.”

I pulled out my half.

She smiled. “I’m glad you accepted my gift. I spent one hour in the dirty pond just to discover that the necklace wasn’t even in the water. Be grateful that I didn’t give up on the search for your half.”

I hugged Rachel. “Thanks Rachel.”

“I should be thanking you.” She chuckled lightly. “I’m the reason we’re in this mess. So best friends?”

“Forever and eternity.”

11-27-11 __via Zia__

I sat at my desk in a daze. I got a phone call from my parents. I couldn’t believe that they chose now to do this. I can’t face Xavier now. This is really bad timing.

I pulled the drawer open and took a piece of paper out. I grabbed a pen and began to write.

“Dear Xavier, I don’t know how to write songs as amazing as yours, so I’ll write a thoughtful letter. This is nothing compared to your beautiful song. I want to tell you how sorry I am for the pain I’ve caused you. I want to apologize for my behavior and attitude towards you. None of it was your fault, no matter how many times your sister protests. It was all my fault because if it wasn’t for me, we wouldn’t be in this mess or situation right now. But I’m somewhat grateful because I wouldn’t have realized how much you mean to me. I don’t know where I’d be without you. I feel as if it was going to be a tragedy. You’re the reason why my days don’t have clouds in the sky. Although we faced some... miscommunications, I’m willing to admit that I was the problem. The reason why I wrote this letter is that it’d be too painful to tell in person. My parents are making me go to France for a month. It doesn’t sound bad, but if I do good in school there, I stay. I don’t like the sound of it because we just made amends. I don’t want to leave you Xavier. I really don’t. I have no choice though. I don’t know the logic behind this random urge, but it may have something to do with us. I’m leaving today at seven o’clock. My parents want me to leave as quickly as I can. I want you to know first. I hope you’re not mad. Now that I think about it, this isn’t as thoughtful as I wished it was. I hope you’ll be there, when I leave. Forever yours, Rachel”

A tear slipped out of my eye. I folded the letter and walked slowly all the way to Xavier’s house.

I didn’t want him to answer the door, so I pulled the hidden string. Zia answered the door, and I pointed at Xavier’s name on it.

She nodded and ran up the stairs.

I ran away as fast as I could. I didn’t want Xavier to see me. I couldn’t face him. I didn’t want to face him. I just couldn’t. I cried all the way home.

__chase her down__

Zia knocked on my door, but, as always, she came in without a response.

I smiled at her brightly, but she didn’t smile back. She handed me a piece of paper slowly. Because of the way her face appeared, I assumed that this wasn’t good.

On the paper was written: “//Xavier//”. I opened it slowly. I recognized the writing immediately. Rachel. I read the letter quickly. When I finished it, I reread the letter. This couldn’t be happening.

I checked my clock. Four hours until her flight. She’s going to the JFK. She’s probably in a cab by now.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled a t-shirt on. I got my car keys and ran down the stairs. I hopped on one foot, as I tried to get my shoe in. I placed my jacket on my shoulders. I ran out the door. I attempted to start my car. It wouldn’t work. I banged on the steering wheel. “Idiot!” I noticed a note on the dashboard.

“Surprise! Amanda told me what you did to my car. Revenge! ~Rachel”

I face palmed myself. I got out of my car and ran down the street. Amanda. Amanda will take me there.

I dialed her phone number. She answered on the first ring. “Hello?”

“Hey Amanda, do you think you could drive me to the airport?”

“Why?”

“I need to catch Rachel before she leaves.”

“Oh my gosh. I wish I could help Xavier, but I’m out of town right now.”

“Oh okay. Thanks though.” I hung up. I changed my direction. Adam. He’ll be more than happy to help. I dialed his number. He answered as well. “What’s up?”

“Do you think you can give me a ride?”

“Where?”

“To the airport.”

“Why?”

“I need to catch Rachel before she leaves.”

“Dude, I wish I could help, but my car is being repaired right now.”

“Oh okay. Thanks anyway.” My heart sank all the way to the pavement. My other friends wouldn’t understand. Sure, they’ll let me carpool, but for only short distances.

Mom. She’ll take me. I skidded to a halt. Mom’s at work. So is Dad. I fell to my knees. There’s no way I’ll catch her. Last result. Call for a taxi.

“Hello, this is Xavier Miller. I’d like a taxi ride to the JFK Airport.”

“When do you need this taxi, sir?”

“Right now. It’s urgent.”

“We’ll get you a taxi right away.”

“Thank you.”

“That’ll be two hundred dollars.”

“Okay, do I need to give my address?”

“With this advanced technology these days, we can just track you down by your phone signal.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Will that be all, sir?”

“Yes.”

“Have a good day then.”

I ran back home and retrieved my wallet. I was short. I asked Zia for money. She refused at first, but when I let her read the letter and explained what I was doing, she willingly gave me the money.

There goes the money I was going to use to repair my car. Rachel’s more important though.

I glanced out the window and saw the taxi. I said goodbye to Zia and hopped into the car.

“Where to sir?”

“JFK Airport. As fast as you can. Within the speed limits, that is.”

“Okay.”

On the ride there, we were silent. The guy didn’t look any older than a college graduate. He glanced at me a couple of times.

“Not to be a bother sir, but what’s the rush?”

I assumed that he’s been through the same problems, so I told him everything. When I said everything, I meant //everything.// “I need to catch my best friend before she leaves for France for a whole month. Maybe for the rest of her life.”

He smiled. “Don’t all guys have girl problems?”

“Don’t start with me. They can be real harsh, you know?”

He smirked. “My girlfriend, who I’m hoping to marry, loves to pull pranks on me.”

“My best friend, who I wish was my girlfriend, messed around with my car, leaves pictures of me in my shameful past, and insults me.”

He patted my shoulder. “You survived. You’re here. Trying to catch her. She must really love you.”

“She //loved// me,” I corrected him.

“From what I heard, that’s wrong. She’s head over heels for you dude.”

“Gabriel was it?” He answered with a nod. “I don’t think so. She even told me that she moved on.”

“Then she’s lying. You said she wanted //you// to be the first to know that she’s leaving. You said that she couldn’t talk to //you// in person because it’d break her heart. You said that she plays pranks on //you.// Do you see anybody else that she likes to pull stunts on?”

“Nobody... else.”

“Bingo! Sudden realization for Xavier!”

“Are you sure we’re not related?”

“Check my wallet. See if you catch on.”

I opened his wallet and noticed a picture of Rachel. “You’re related to Rachel?”

“Yeah. She’s my cousin.”

I finally noticed why he looked vaguely familiar. “Whoa. Does she know you?”

“Of course she does. What kind of relative would I be?”

“Touche.”

“I know Rachel very well. She’s loved you, basically, her whole life. I don’t know if you’ll believe that. Maybe it’s just me talking.”

We got through the Lincoln Tunnel. On the way to the airport, there was traffic.

“Are you kidding me?” I craned my head out the window and noticed that this traffic would be at least half an hour to an hour. I checked my watch. Two hours left. I guess I’ll run. I opened the car door.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to the airport. Don’t worry. I’ll pay you a bonus. Thanks Gabriel.” I slammed the door and got onto the sidewalk.

I started with a brisk walk. Then, I picked up to a quick jog. Once I thought I covered enough ground, I ran as fast as I could. (I’m glad I ran away for those twenty miles. I’m also glad that I downloaded that GPS app.)

I was almost there. I glanced at my watch. One hour. I can make it. I can run... another thirty miles. I already ran twenty miles. (I’m glad I bought three bottles of water from that nice man.) I pushed myself further. I’m not going to stop until I stop Rachel. I’m going to chase her down all around the world if I have to. I’m not going to stop, until I stop her.

__a small world indeed__

I stood near the gateway. I was becoming anxious. Where was Xavier?

“Rachel?”

I turned around expecting Xavier, but it was Amanda. My heart sank, but I was still happy. “Amanda. How’d you know I was here?”

“Xavier. I wanted to give him a ride here, but I was already in New York. Adam couldn’t give him a ride because his car broke down. Xavier couldn’t take himself because you vandalized his car. Not the best timing, by the way. His parents can’t take him because they’re at work.”

“So he’s not coming...”

“I’m afraid not.”

Tears escaped my eyes.

Amanda hugged me. “It’s okay Rachel. You guys can text, call, video chat, e-mail, snail mail. Anything.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Of course it’s not the same.”

The loudspeaker crackled. “Flight 402 to Paris, France may enter the plane now.”

“I have to go now.”

“Have a nice time in Paris.”

“It won’t be nice without you guys. Especially Xavier.”

I boarded the plane. My parents were right behind me, so I couldn’t escape. We sat in first class. I turned my head around. I got up, but my dad restrained me.

“Calm down Dad. I need to ask the flight attendant about dinner tonight.” With that, he let me go.

I tapped on the lady’s shoulder. She didn’t look any older than a college graduate. “Excuse me ma’am?”

“Ma’am? You can call me Eliza.”

“Hello Eliza. Can you do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

“Can you distract my parents?” When she gave me a look of confusion, I gave her a brief summary of everything.

“Don’t all girls have guy problems?”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, my boyfriend and I, who I wish would propose to me, like to pull pranks on each other. It’s a little... friendly banter.”

“That sounds like me and Xavier. Are you sure we’re not related?”

Eliza pulled a picture out of her pocket. “Look at it. See if it rings a bell.”

I gingerly took the picture and recognized the face. It was Eliza and Xavier. “You know Xavier?”

“Yep. He’s my cousin.”

I stared at her and noticed the resemblance. “So who’s your boyfriend?”

“Gabriel Rosse.” She gave me a sly smile.

“You’re dating my cousin?”

“Small world huh? Go on. Run now while your parents are too busy indulging in their laptops. Go get Xavier back.”

“Thanks.” I hugged Eliza. “I’m expecting an invitation to the wedding.”

“Maid of honor. What do you think about that?”

I smiled and ran. I emerged back into the terminal. I sat in one of the seats. (I’m glad I didn’t put anything in my carryon. The clothes my mom packed to France won’t be missed.)

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a guy that was out of breath. He had the same build, same disheveled brown hair, and the same face as Xavier. He approached Amanda and got a hug from her when he heard my plane “left” already.

I got up from my chair and walked behind him. Amanda already left, when I was five feet from Xavier. I tapped his shoulder. “You sound like you’re out of breath.”

He didn’t turn around. “I just missed my best friend. Now I won’t be able to tell her.”

“Well tell me now.”

He must have been confused because he turned around abruptly. When his mind finally processed that I was standing right in front of me, he grabbed me by the waist and swung me around until I was dizzy.

“I’m happy to see you too. Now put me down.”

“I don’t want to. I’m never letting you go.”

“Well, for once, could you let me go? Because I can’t breathe right now.”

He reluctantly let me go. My feet landed on the ground.

“I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Me either. Did you know that you’re cousin is a flight attendant?”

“Yeah. Did you know that you’re cousin is a taxi driver?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you know that they want to get married?” We asked in unison.

I blushed and Xavier looked down to the floor. “Small world then.”

“Yeah. It’s a small world for you and me because you’re the only one in my world.”

__back to normal__

Everything seemed to go back to normal. Adam, Amanda, Rachel and I are tight friends. We call ourselves the Four Corners. Without one, the foundation lacks, and we just fall apart.

Adam got himself a new car and a new girlfriend.

Amanda’s happy that Adam got a girlfriend because that girl is her friend. So obviously, Amanda likes to pester one or the other. She also got herself a new boyfriend. Which frankly is a funny thing because her boyfriend is //Adam’s// friend as well. Fate has a way of balancing things out.

Rachel... Rachel had her car confiscated, which I find no problem in. She was “grounded”, which isn’t a problem because they said she needed to be on surveillance, so they chose my parents. Works for me. Rachel is my best friend again. No surprise. Rachel //isn’t// my girlfriend. Wish she was. (I’ll work on that.)

So basically, everything is back to normal, with just some new additions. Who cares. They’re good additions. We’re back to normal.

__a surprise?__

I got a call from Xavier. He said that I should meet him at the park.

I don’t know if this was one of his jokes, or if he was for real.

He said it was a surprise. I didn’t know if I should take this lightly. I didn’t care. I got dressed up into something nice and walked, not ran, walked to the park.

A surprise. A surprise from Xavier to me. I resisted the urge to run to the park because I didn’t want to ruin my nice outfit.

I walked there. I kept walking. Refraining from running. I saw Xavier and I couldn’t help it. I ran.

__forever and eternity__

I noticed that Rachel was running. I spread my arms open and grabbed her into an embrace. I know we saw each other yesterday, but it felt like forever. (We’ve been trying to hang out with each other as much as we could, although we go to the same university.)

“What’s the surprise?”

“I have a confession.”

She looked at me weird. “What kind of confession is this? We never hide //anything// from each other.”

“Yeah... Well, I sorta broke that rule.”

“Well tell me then. You know I can’t cope with suspense.”

I smiled. “I never told you before because I thought it was wrong timing and a little awkward. Plus, I was a bit apprehensive.”

She leaned forward in anticipation.

“Here goes nothing. Rachel, I love you. I //really// love you.” When I opened one of my eyes, I just saw her staring at me.

She took my hand in hers. “That was your confession?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s safe to say that I kept a secret from you as well. I love you too. I //really// love you too.”

“I even got you something.” I pulled a box out of my back pocket. “It’s a new necklace. This one isn’t supposed to replace the other. It’s just to emphasize a different promise.”

“What are you talking about?”

I pointed to the sky. There, on a banner, was a message. On that banner, it said, “Rachel Rosse, will you marry me?”

Tears sprang out of her eyes. I opened the box. Another heart necklace. On it was inscribed, “Xavier and Rachel Forever and Eternity”. I placed the necklace on Rachel.

She looked at it in complete awe. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes! A million yeses. An infinite amount of yeses, but I want to wait until we’re done with college.”

“Yes of course, but that’s not that far away. One more year, Rachel. Part two of the surprise was that if you said yes, which you did, we were going to have our wedding //with// Gabriel and Eliza. A double wedding.”

“No way.”

“Yes.” I gazed at her. “You know that you’re engaged with me now. That necklace proves it.”

Rachel picked the heart up and looked at me, and then looked at the heart again. “Are you sure it binds me? Most times, the guy gets a ring.”

“I’m not like most guys.”

“No. No you’re not. You know why? Because you’re Xavier. //My// best friend.”

“Now betrothed.”

She smiled the most beautiful, not pulchritudinous, smile. “Yes, but you’re still my best friend for life.”

“Forever and eternity.”

“Till death do us part.” She intertwined her other hand in mine and stepped closer. “You’re now my boyfriend, you know. For life.”

“Nope. I’m not. I’m your boyfriend, and soon to be husband, for forever and eternity.” I sealed my promise with a kiss.